Far-right scammers wondering what to do with 10,000 ‘#FreeTommy’ T-shirts

Someone saying to Tommy Robinson: "Would you mind going back in side until the Crowdfunder is finished, Tommy?"
John Shafthauer

Tommy Robinson being sent to prison was the best thing to happen to the far right since Nigel Farage shaved his moustache.

All that’s fucked now, as the courts have released him on bail.

Far-shite

Immediately after Robinson was sent down, a cottage industry emerged around the #FreeTommy movement. This saw far-right shitheads raking in money hand over fist – selling items like:

  • #FreeTommy T-shirts.
  • #FreeTommy badges.
  • #FreeTommy dungarees.
  • Henry Hoovers with Tommy’s face drawn on the front.
  • ‘Tickle-me-Tommy’ dolls that said phrases like, “You can’t even risk a mistrial in this country anymore!” and “Send money to my crowdfunder!
  • #FreeTommy jackboots.

Tommy’s release leaves the sellers of this tat up shit creek. The upside is they do have paddles. The downside is no one wants to buy a paddle with a #FreeTommy logo on it.

Folk wails

Perhaps the most inconvenienced person of all is Katie Hopkins.

Hopkins was in the middle of recording a folk concept album called Tommy (But Not the One About Pinball). She’d even taught herself how to play the lute and sing in what one listener described as:

A hideous falsetto – a sound like an angry cat fellating a firework.

Still, though, there’s hope for them on the horizon. Tommy is out on a technicality, and he’s already admitted committing contempt. He could potentially even get a longer stretch when he’s re-sentenced.

As such, expect to see #FreeTommy turkeys in time for Christmas.

Get Involved!

– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.

– Join The Canary, so we can keep holding the powerful to account.

Featured image via YouTube [IMAGE WAS ALTERED]

Since you're here ...

We know you don't need a lecture. You wouldn't be here if you didn't care.
Now, more than ever, we need your help to challenge the rightwing press and hold power to account. Please help us survive and thrive.

The Canary Support

Comments are closed

John Shafthauer