Macron finds the centre ground between shooting/not-shooting children

Macron with an image behind him of children being held at gunpoint


Support us and go ad-free

France’s President Macron is probably the world’s most famous centrist. But what is ‘centrism’? Allegedly, it’s finding the middle ground between two extremes. Most recently, Macron found the centre-ground between shooting/not shooting children:

Centrism explained

The protests in France originally began because of an increase to diesel prices. Obviously fuel emissions need to be dealt with, but how do you reconcile these two positions?

Read on...

THE LEFT: Reduce carbon emissions.

THE RIGHT: Burn anything we can make money from.

Well, if you’re a sensible moderate, you:

MACRON: Reduce poor people’s carbon emissions.

The problem is that France – like most countries – is split into two societies: the rich and everyone else. These two societies have competing demands. Thankfully, Macron found the path between these two absurdities:

THE POOR: Tax the rich.

THE RICH: Don’t tax the rich.

MACRON: Tax the poor.

Obviously the political right are very big on society-crushing austerity, too. They just crush people in a less moderate fashion than the centrists do.

Divide and centre

Macron is faced with an impossible world dominated by fringe opinions like:

THE LEFT: Equalise society so we can tackle climate change together.

THE RIGHT: Divide society even further so we can underpay peasants to fuck the planet for us.

Thank god France has a reasonable chap like Macron to find the practical middle:

MACRON: Tax cuts for the companies driving climate change: lectures about environmentalism for everyone else.

Featured image via screengrab / Official Leweb Photos – Wikimedia

Get involved

We know everyone is suffering under the Tories - but the Canary is a vital weapon in our fight back, and we need your support

The Canary Workers’ Co-op knows life is hard. The Tories are waging a class war against us we’re all having to fight. But like trade unions and community organising, truly independent working-class media is a vital weapon in our armoury.

The Canary doesn’t have the budget of the corporate media. In fact, our income is over 1,000 times less than the Guardian’s. What we do have is a radical agenda that disrupts power and amplifies marginalised communities. But we can only do this with our readers’ support.

So please, help us continue to spread messages of resistance and hope. Even the smallest donation would mean the world to us.

Support us