Because human beings are awesome, we’ve created a situation in which avoiding nuclear Armageddon relies on Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un getting along with one another. We’ve now stepped a little closer towards such an apocalypse, following a summit in which the two men missed their afternoon naps.
This baby’s got a temper
Surprisingly, Trump and Kim got along quite well at their first meeting. Or should that be ‘not surprisingly’? They’re both large man-children with more power than sense, after all.
Beyond the two men exchanging action figures, not much happened at the first summit. This meant the real work had to start now – a fact which produced a lot of huffing and puffing from both parties. Things didn’t get properly heated until nap time, however, when Trump tossed an apple juice on the ground.
“NO!” President Big-Pants shouted. “NO!”
“THAT WIENER STOLE MY APPLE JUICE!” Kim shouted in Korean.
“WHAT DID HE CALL ME!?” Trump fired back. “HE BETTER NOT HAVE CALLED ME A WIENER!”
Big boy club
Having gone into full-on tantrum mode, the two men began grappling and slapping at one another. This proved to be more dangerous than it sounds, as both men brought their nuclear buttons with them. Thankfully, some wily aides leapt in and snatched the buttons away.
“HE STOLE MY BUTTON!” Trump complained.
“MY BUTTON’S BIGGER THAN YOURS ANYWAY!” Kim replied in Korean.
“YOU BETTER NOT BE MAKING FUN OF MY BUTTON!” the leader of the free world replied, before resuming grappling.
A third summit has yet to be arranged, and won’t be until “that lousy Kim gives me my yo-yo back!”
Do your bit for independent journalism
Did you know that less than 1.5% of our readers contribute financially to The Canary? Imagine what we could do if just a few more people joined our movement to achieve a shared vision of a free and fair society where we nurture people and planet.
We need you to help out, if you can.
When you give a monthly amount to fund our work, you are supporting truly independent journalism. We hold power to account and have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence the counterpoint to the mainstream.
You can count on us for rigorous journalism and fearless opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right wing mainstream media.
In return you get:
- Advert free reading experience
- Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
- 20% discount from our shop