North Korea talks break down after discussions pass leaders’ nap times

Trump and Kim with dummies in their mouths
Support us and go ad-free

Because human beings are awesome, we’ve created a situation in which avoiding nuclear Armageddon relies on Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un getting along with one another. We’ve now stepped a little closer towards such an apocalypse, following a summit in which the two men missed their afternoon naps.

This baby’s got a temper

Surprisingly, Trump and Kim got along quite well at their first meeting. Or should that be ‘not surprisingly’? They’re both large man-children with more power than sense, after all.

Beyond the two men exchanging action figures, not much happened at the first summit. This meant the real work had to start now – a fact which produced a lot of huffing and puffing from both parties. Things didn’t get properly heated until nap time, however, when Trump tossed an apple juice on the ground.

“NO!” President Big-Pants shouted. “NO!”

“THAT WIENER STOLE MY APPLE JUICE!” Kim shouted in Korean.

“WHAT DID HE CALL ME!?” Trump fired back. “HE BETTER NOT HAVE CALLED ME A WIENER!”

Big boy club

Having gone into full-on tantrum mode, the two men began grappling and slapping at one another. This proved to be more dangerous than it sounds, as both men brought their nuclear buttons with them. Thankfully, some wily aides leapt in and snatched the buttons away.

Read on...

“HE STOLE MY BUTTON!” Trump complained.

“MY BUTTON’S BIGGER THAN YOURS ANYWAY!” Kim replied in Korean.

“YOU BETTER NOT BE MAKING FUN OF MY BUTTON!” the leader of the free world replied, before resuming grappling.

A third summit has yet to be arranged, and won’t be until “that lousy Kim gives me my yo-yo back!”

Featured image via Blue House – Wikimedia / Shealah Craighead – Wikimedia

Get involved

We know everyone is suffering under the Tories - but the Canary is a vital weapon in our fight back, and we need your support

The Canary Workers’ Co-op knows life is hard. The Tories are waging a class war against us we’re all having to fight. But like trade unions and community organising, truly independent working-class media is a vital weapon in our armoury.

The Canary doesn’t have the budget of the corporate media. In fact, our income is over 1,000 times less than the Guardian’s. What we do have is a radical agenda that disrupts power and amplifies marginalised communities. But we can only do this with our readers’ support.

So please, help us continue to spread messages of resistance and hope. Even the smallest donation would mean the world to us.

Support us