North Korea talks break down after discussions pass leaders’ nap times

Trump and Kim with dummies in their mouths
John Shafthauer

Because human beings are awesome, we’ve created a situation in which avoiding nuclear Armageddon relies on Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un getting along with one another. We’ve now stepped a little closer towards such an apocalypse, following a summit in which the two men missed their afternoon naps.

This baby’s got a temper

Surprisingly, Trump and Kim got along quite well at their first meeting. Or should that be ‘not surprisingly’? They’re both large man-children with more power than sense, after all.

Beyond the two men exchanging action figures, not much happened at the first summit. This meant the real work had to start now – a fact which produced a lot of huffing and puffing from both parties. Things didn’t get properly heated until nap time, however, when Trump tossed an apple juice on the ground.

“NO!” President Big-Pants shouted. “NO!”

“THAT WIENER STOLE MY APPLE JUICE!” Kim shouted in Korean.

“WHAT DID HE CALL ME!?” Trump fired back. “HE BETTER NOT HAVE CALLED ME A WIENER!”

Big boy club

Having gone into full-on tantrum mode, the two men began grappling and slapping at one another. This proved to be more dangerous than it sounds, as both men brought their nuclear buttons with them. Thankfully, some wily aides leapt in and snatched the buttons away.

“HE STOLE MY BUTTON!” Trump complained.

“MY BUTTON’S BIGGER THAN YOURS ANYWAY!” Kim replied in Korean.

“YOU BETTER NOT BE MAKING FUN OF MY BUTTON!” the leader of the free world replied, before resuming grappling.

A third summit has yet to be arranged, and won’t be until “that lousy Kim gives me my yo-yo back!”

Featured image via Blue House – Wikimedia / Shealah Craighead – Wikimedia

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John Shafthauer