Many were surprised to see Chuka Umunna proposing national service for young people. This wouldn’t be military service, but instead some sort of corporate away-day nonsense designed to bring young people together. And now we know exactly what this so-called ‘citizens service’ might look like.
Speaking to the journalists who materialise every time he speaks out loud, Umunna said:
Young people can learn everything they need to know from Nando’s. Firstly, they get to work inside a thriving company. Secondly, they get some of that PERi-PERi multiculturalism. And thirdly, they learn that most important of all characteristics – cheekiness.
At this point, someone asked if these children would be getting paid for working at Nando’s. Umunna looked uncomfortable at this point and blurted out:
The Independent Group is definitely not the political wing of Nando’s hostile takeover of the UK!
Or isn’t they
Umunna’s strange denial led to some digging. It turned out the so-called Independent Group is actually a subsidiary of Nando’s. Pictures have also emerged of a man in a chicken costume handing Chris Leslie a carrier bag filled with greasy five-pound notes.
The Independent Group is having a "Cheeky Nandos". Anna Soubry looks thrilled… pic.twitter.com/lKpw1C4FeH
— Vincent McAviney (@VinnyMcAv) February 25, 2019
So is the political group actually an attempt by a somewhat popular fast-food chain to acquire itself free child labour? Possibly not. Although it wouldn’t be any less backwards than what the Independent Group actually stands for.
Featured image via Loozrboy – Wikimedia
Do your bit for independent journalism
Did you know that less than 1.5% of our readers contribute financially to The Canary? Imagine what we could do if just a few more people joined our movement to achieve a shared vision of a free and fair society where we nurture people and planet.
We need you to help out, if you can.
When you give a monthly amount to fund our work, you are supporting truly independent journalism. We hold power to account and have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence the counterpoint to the mainstream.
You can count on us for rigorous journalism and fearless opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right wing mainstream media.
In return you get:
- Advert free reading experience
- Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
- 20% discount from our shop