Plan to break Brexit deadlock with repurposed vans
There are several things the UK could do to break the Brexit deadlock. Sadly, we can’t do any of them, because our PM is a massive spanner who’s jammed herself in the works:
It's amazing that President Trump exists, and yet May is still the most useless leader in the world right now https://t.co/IRIBWNBAwI
— John Shafthauer (@johnshafthauer) March 21, 2019
Unfortunately for May, the UK has a contingency plan for encouraging people it doesn’t like to leave. And she’s the person who invented it.
Go away, May
As home secretary, May commissioned a fleet of ‘racist vans’ to encourage illegal immigrants to leave the country. These ended up being part of a ‘hostile environment’ that made non-white people feel unwelcome in Britain. The fleet was rightfully put out of action, but now we have someone who genuinely deserves a hostile environment.
The plan is to have these vans hang around outside parliament displaying messages like:
- Just stop.
- But are you being ‘very clear’?
- If you’re worried people will remember you as the worst PM ever, it’s already too late to change that.
- Everything you just said is nothing.
- If you’d quit already, you’d be running through a field of wheat by now.
- This isn’t normal.
- You’re not normal.
- Unless you’re a super villain with a secret scheme to devalue Britain and sell it to North Korea, your plan isn’t working.
- Even James Cleverly is tired of kissing your arse.
- So long, and thanks for all the fash!
Some people have argued that harassing May with vans isn’t nice. And it isn’t. It’s a phenomenon we used to recognise as ‘protest’. And if you can’t protest the politicians who’ve harassed an entire nation of people, then who can you protest?’
Featured image via Ian Burt – Flickr / UK Home Office – Wikimedia (images were altered)
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