Independent Media | Campaigning Journalism
Mark Francois changes name to ‘Brark Brancois’ to protest the Brexit delay or something
Brexit has exposed Britain to the many oddballs who serve as Conservative MPs. The latest to gain prominence is Mark Francois – a man you’ve probably seen on the telly. If you can’t trace the name, this description might help:
Mark Francois is an angry pork pie, isn't he?
— Mike Holden (@MikeHolden42) April 4, 2019
In his latest rant, the Rayleigh and Wickford MP said he now goes by the name ‘Brark Brancois’. Apparently he’s protesting the Brexit delay or something. It was difficult to tell, as he’s adding ‘br-’ to the beginning of every word.
Bridiculous
Speaking to the gaggle of press that constantly follows him around right now, Brancois said:
Read on...
Bris brountry bris bra broke. Brunless bre bret Brexit broon bri’m broing bro bream bruntil bry brace broes brlue.
When translated out of Brenglish, it’s believed that Brancois said:
I am a sad, little man with no idea what’s going on. When I drive my children to school and see all the youngsters – so full of hope and dreams – I realise I’ve wasted my life being a twat. Will Brexit fill the hole inside me? Probably not. But at least others will get to share in my impotence.
Breasonable?
To be fair to Brancois, it does look like Theresa May is trying to sabotage Brexit. Why else would she make James Cleverly a Brexit minister?
DONALD TUSK: So what is the Conservative position?
JAMES CLEVERLY: Hold on a sec, dude – I just need to post a sick tweet to my followers
DONALD TUSK: …you seem to have posted an image of yourself with your arse hanging out, James?
JAMES CLEVERLY: I know – it's good, right?
— John Shafthauer (@johnshafthauer) April 5, 2019
Featured image via YouTube
Get involved
- For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.
Do your bit for independent journalism
Did you know that less than 1.5% of our readers contribute financially to The Canary? Imagine what we could do if just a few more people joined our movement to achieve a shared vision of a free and fair society where we nurture people and planet.
We need you to help out, if you can.
When you give a monthly amount to fund our work, you are supporting truly independent journalism. We hold power to account and have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence the counterpoint to the mainstream.
You can count on us for rigorous journalism and fearless opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right wing mainstream media.
In return you get:
- Advert free reading experience
- Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
- 20% discount from our shop
Fund us -
Show Comments
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to leave a comment.Join the conversationPlease read our comment moderation policy here.
Steady now. He may look and sound like a reject from TOWIE but this man in the Son of God. Anyone up for crowd-funding him to walk upon the waters?
He could at least be accurate and change it to ” Berk”