Boris Johnson’s plan to keep the union together hampered by the ‘Boris Johnson’ part

Boris Johnson's face inside a flaming map of the United Kingdom
Support us and go ad-free

Despite all evidence to the contrary, Boris Johnson allegedly wants to keep the United Kingdom together. The problem?

Well – it turns out much of the kingdom is united in its dislike of him.

Get tae fuck

An Irishman, a Scotsman, and a Welshman walked into the Off The Perch offices. The first one told us:

It’s pretty obvious that the Brexiteers forgot Northern Ireland existed before the referendum. It’s pretty obvious they don’t care what happens to us now they’ve remembered. As Johnson hired his new cabinet by using a sign of himself with the message ‘you must be this stupid to serve’, I can’t see things getting any better.

The Scotsman said:

When I ask myself if I want to be ruled by a bunch of vindictive English aristocrats, the answer is no. When I ask if I want to be ruled by the biggest bawbags of the bunch, the answer is also no. In other words, I’ll be voting yes in the next referendum.

The Welshman said:

Read on...

Support us and go ad-free

We’re not in the news as much, but we’re also unhappy with the shire’s choice of prime minister.

Disunited

It’s not just Johnson letting the side down. It’s also the crack team Johnson put together, with an emphasis on crack:

Will this lead to the break-up of the UK? You’d think so. If only because Johnson said it won’t.

Featured image via Flickr – Financial Times / pixabay

Support us and go ad-free

Get involved

We need your help to keep speaking the truth

Every story that you have come to us with; each injustice you have asked us to investigate; every campaign we have fought; each of your unheard voices we amplified; we do this for you. We are making a difference on your behalf.

Our fight is your fight. You’ve supported our collective struggle every time you gave us a like; and every time you shared our work across social media. Now we need you to support us with a monthly donation.

We have published nearly 2,000 articles and over 50 films in 2021. And we want to do this and more in 2022 but we don’t have enough money to go on at this pace. So, if you value our work and want us to continue then please join us and be part of The Canary family.

In return, you get:

* Advert free reading experience
* Quarterly group video call with the Editor-in-Chief
* Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
* 20% discount in our shop

Almost all of our spending goes to the people who make The Canary’s content. So your contribution directly supports our writers and enables us to continue to do what we do: speaking truth, powered by you. We have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence our vital opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right-wing mainstream media.

With your help we can continue:

* Holding political and state power to account
* Advocating for the people the system marginalises
* Being a media outlet that upholds the highest standards
* Campaigning on the issues others won’t
* Putting your lives central to everything we do

We are a drop of truth in an ocean of deceit. But we can’t do this without your support. So please, can you help us continue the fight?

The Canary Support us