The Muslamists have taken over hallowed British institution Five Guys. What next, asks one joint of gammon.
Five Guys has announced that it’s making changes to one particular store in Birmingham. The burger chain said:
Our burgers use halal certified British beef that is prepared following specific practices, as required to become halal certified, whilst maintaining humane and ethical standards without compromising on animal welfare according to UK and EU legislation.
In order for the stores to be fully Halal certified we will not offer bacon, hot dogs or alcohol at these stores.
There are several Five Guys stores in Birmingham, and with this announcement only one of them, Fort Dunlop, will serve halal food.
Naturally, Islamophobic racists are up in arms on social media. The usual suspects with England flags in their profile names have started kicking off.
Five Guys, but only one of them is halal
One charmer said:
Boycott @FiveGuysUK @FiveGuys absolute disgrace to be doing this in Britain. Take your Halal stores to Muslim countries.
We’re sure he’ll be delighted to know that Five Guys already operate in the United Arab Emirates.
Another ray of sunshine said:
I’m getting a little sick of this bullshit. Fuck companies like @FiveGuysUKif they want to be Islam compliant, vote with your feet and deprive them of your custom everywhere. This is the fucking UK, not Islamabad.
Astute observation, but it’s difficult to see how one store out of five serving halal food changes one’s country to Islamabad. It’s unclear how Five Guys gained such incredible geopolitical power, more as we have it.
Another race understander said:
A fine example of diversity & inclusion. Which actually means replacing British culture, values, & traditions. This isn’t multi-culturalism, it’s ethnic cleansing of white British people from some areas of the UK. Hopefully @FiveGuysUK profits are hit accordingly #BoycottFiveGuys
Ah yes, what is more culturally British than an American burger chain? Multi-culturalism literally is catering for multiple cultures, which is exactly what Five Guys are doing. They haven’t said that anyone in Birmingham who doesn’t immediately go and order a halal burger will be shot. They haven’t insisted that all their locations are going to serve halal meat. It’s one fucking location!! If you can’t live without bacon on your non-halal burger there are four other locations in the same city. Or, shock horror, you could go to another burger chain.
Salaam Guys
Weirdly I don’t think changes to one Five Guys – which is an American firm mind you – represents an “indulgence” to Muslims in the UK who want to have options for Halal food. Unless you think people shouldn’t be able to follow their own religious dietary guidelines? https://t.co/X8v6QEonpe
— Aeromatic (@AeromaticTV) February 21, 2025
For the millionth time, one group practicing their own religious beliefs does not denigrate any other group’s religious beliefs.
There were plenty of racists claiming to have never set foot in a Five Guys that they would…er…never set foot in a Five Guys:
"I'm never going to Five Guys again!" scream the blue tick and flag brigade who have not once stepped foot in Five Guys.
— Jim Hearson (@JimHearson) February 21, 2025
Of course, the mighty war of woke being waged by Islamists and lefties is gathering pace:
Hey gang, quick update on the "alliance of Islamists and the Woke Left toppling the West" challenge: day 849 and it's not gone as well as we hoped – so far we've only managed to partially topple one Five Guys outlet in Birmingham – so we need your support more than ever 🙏
— TheIainDuncanSmiths (@TheIDSmiths) February 21, 2025
But, as the old saying goes, one Five Guys location in Birmingham, then the world. Ameen.
Same old, same old
Every now and again a fast-food related moral panic about halal food makes its way onto social media. No, it’s not political correctness gone mad. It’s not a conspiracy theory to install Sharia law (we’re reliably informed that the first step of sharia law is not domination via burgers). Diversity of choice is very different from enforced laws. Nobody is required, in any way whatsoever, to eat a halal burger. It’s basic capitalism – the more businesses cater to the needs of the customers, the more money they’ll make. It’s not a political statement to serve halal meat.
If you’re still furious, wait till you hear about the other hundreds of places in Birmingham you can get a halal burger.
Featured image via the Canary
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