Strictly Come Canary, week eleven: Lewis is off after a mediocre musicals week

It’s musicals week on Strictly Come Dancing! If you know one thing about me, it’s how bloody much I love musicals. It’s also the quarter final, so everyone’s desperate to keep going. We know this because of the very dramatic opening sequence set to Tomorrow from Annie.

The show opens properly with a tribute to musicals set in London in the Edwardian era, I think. That’s all that they seem to have in common anyway. What’s special about this opener, though, is that all the celebs also take part in the number, so it really shows how high the quality of celebs is this year. Except George, who fucked up both his lifts. With the show well and truly, opened it’s on with the dances.

Strictly Come Dancing: the Dances

George and Alexis dancing the Argentine tango
Annoyingly, for someone who admittedly hates musicals, George is the only one who gets to go to the theatre in this week’s Strictly. I can’t stop thinking about how the main theme from Phantom would’ve suited the AT better than the point of no return, until eventually it works, and the song becomes. Of course, he doesn’t get pulled up for his illegal lifts, again, but instead the judges bloody praise them.  In the Clauditorium, they get a message from Andrew Lloyd Webber – because what this segment needed was more cunts. They score 35.

Karen and Carlos dancing the samba
Because they’re dancing to the Rhythm of Life from Sweet Charity, which is set in the 60s, they have a dress-up session. There’s a great moment in the dance where she misses his hand, but instead of panicking, she goes straight into the spins and pulls it off. All around, it’s an excellent dance made even better by the ensemble. Neil gets told off for shouting from the Clauditorium during the judging which is excellent. Ian Wright sends a message, for some reason. They score 34, which if the standard wasn’t so high would be a good score.

Balvinder and Julian dancing a Viennese waltz
I need to say here and now just how much I fucking HATE The Greatest Showman, it’s a shit film with some mildly catchy songs that idolises a man who enslaved disabled people. With that out the way, Bal and Julian are dancing to Never Enough. It’s one of Bal’s best dances yet, absolutely gorgeous. Motsi forgets Julian’s name and shouts out the perimenopause, then makes Bal cry and gives her a hug. They score 35.

Bal and George get a birthday cake which they get goaded to eat with their faces, and also Neil gets involved.

Amber and Nikita dancing the Charleston
Amber is once again called a huge musicals fan on Strictly – as if it isn’t her literal job. Their dance to Sit Down You’re Rockin’ the Boat from Guys and Dolls is very good; however, it feels like it’s part of a musical, not inspired by one. At the end, we see George sarcastically clapping like he just realised how fucked he is, and here’s hoping. Shirley said she’s “destined for the West End”, which is ridiculous cos now only was she just on the West End, but she literally did a move from her latest West End show. They score 40, cos of course they do.

Lewis and Katya dancing the salsa
We start off with Lewis pretending he knows nothing about musicals, despite also being in them. This is to a song from West Side Story, but like the rest of the show, it’s not really a main one many people will know. Honestly, it was hard to find him with so many other Strictly dancers, which is either cos he was really good or because he just blended into the background. And I think it was the second one. He’s just boring because you know he’s always going to be good. They score 35.

Exit, delayed by a bear

This is usually where the show would end, but instead we have a performance from Paddington The Musical, which would be amazing if it wasn’t involving Tom Fletcher. I am both the biggest lover of McFly and the biggest hater of Tom Fletcher. It’s odd because this is usually a Strictly results show piece, and it’s not a song anyone knows because it’s a brand new musical, but it’s lovely enough and adds five extra minutes onto the show. Mind you, I don’t care what anyone says, that Paddington puppet is fucking creepy.

After that toilet break, the vote opens, Nikita picks Claud up, and she nearly flashes on live TV. We also find out Motsi has the deciding vote. It’s an interesting one because while Amber is at the top and Karen is at the bottom; Bal, Lewis and George all scored 35. So we have three 2nd placers and just one point seperates them from Kaz at the bottom and it’s still anyone’s game.

Results show

I was quite intrigued how they were going to do the results with them changing to a bottom four format this series, but thankfully, they’ve abandoned that. Bal and Julian and Karen and Carlos get through and they all can’t believe their ears. Anton jokes that at least they haven’t got to face Balvinder, who’s made it through a stonking five dance offs.

Highlights from the Clauditorium involve Julian staring at Bal in absolute adoration, Bal talking about how much her community have supported her, Carlos screams again, and Claudia reveals Kaz has gotten further than any footballer ever.

Theres an incredible Chicago performance from the pros that left me feeling No Better Than A Man about the female pros. However, the lyric changes stop them from actually murdering their husbands. The pros have also done their own confessionals which makes it even better.

And then it’s time for the bottom three to become the bottom two and annoyingly George is through. Then we get a batshit performance from Titanique which is right up my street – man it looks so unserious and ridiculous.

Well well fuck me well, here I was finally ready to celebrate George to be in the Strictly bottom two or at least resigning myself to Bal going home and both of them are safe. Instead, we have the top two of last night and most of the series Lewis and Katyva vs Amber and Nikita. While this 100% shouldn’t have happened, it’s clear people are getting a bit bored of the couples who haven’t improved at all when they’ve always been incredible. That and George fans are fucking dicks who literally used 18 accounts to vote.

After an alright dance off that we’re told is show-stopping, we see Lewis and Katya go home. While it’s sad, I’m also glad I don’t have to have North East solidarity for someone that forgettable for the next two weeks.

Strictly this year feels like the last hurrah

That was an interesting weekend of Strictly. On one hand, musicals week is always fun, but on the other, it was once again missing some of that usual Strictly sparkle. It felt like everyone was just going through the motions at times, and as we get closer to Tess and Claud leaving the show feels more and more like it’s on it’s last legs.

But we have the semi-final next week, so hopefully there’s still an ounce of magic left before we all hibernate

Until then, keeeeep dancing!

Featured image via the Canary