Murdoch to close The Sun and relaunch it as a newspaper

Support us and go ad-free

THIS POST IS SATIRICAL

In a move described as “typically ruthless”, Rupert Murdoch has closed The Sun with immediate effect. But information obtained by The Canary suggests the move could simply be part of a cynical re-branding exercise.

Saturday’s edition brings the curtain down on one of the UK’s most “colourful” publications. Often outspoken, rarely reliable and frequently under pressure from the regulator, The Sun has occupied a curious role in the newsprint industry.

We weren’t able to speak directly to The Digger himself but, to our surprise, Jerry Hall responded in a series of messages written in eyeliner and faxed from Murdoch’s Californian vineyard retreat.

Rupe says Sun sells well coz it’s versatile.

Can be used as pet bedding and for mopping up cat sick.

Main use is workmen sticking it on the dashboard of their vans as a kind of message to traffic wardens. Just unloading, back soon.

Read on...

Support us and go ad-free

It seems that this low-end reputation has finally got too much for Murdoch. Perhaps assuming total control of National Geographic has led him to start thinking on a higher plane. Or maybe it’s just the impulsive behaviour of a newly-wed. Either way, the meaning that we were able to derive from the increasingly garbled flow of faxes was that The Sun will be resurrected under a different name and, crucially, as a newspaper rather than a general household accessory.

The new title will be The Sun News. It will hit the shops on Monday, but it will be completely different and not at all just the old paper with a new name. Absolutely no comparisons should be drawn with the very separate circumstances surrounding the closure of the News of the World and its relaunch as The Sun on Sunday. That altogether unique situation was the product of a publication becoming embroiled in a phone hacking scandal and suffering a terrible public reputation. Such a thing could never happen again.

However, the final message from Ms Hall appeared to indicate that any attempt to portray the relaunch as a new dawn might be scuppered by the appointment as editor of a recurring face from the past. It read simply: “Brooks :(”

Featured image via Times of Malta / Wikimedia

Support us and go ad-free

We need your help to keep speaking the truth

Every story that you have come to us with; each injustice you have asked us to investigate; every campaign we have fought; each of your unheard voices we amplified; we do this for you. We are making a difference on your behalf.

Our fight is your fight. You’ve supported our collective struggle every time you gave us a like; and every time you shared our work across social media. Now we need you to support us with a monthly donation.

We have published nearly 2,000 articles and over 50 films in 2021. And we want to do this and more in 2022 but we don’t have enough money to go on at this pace. So, if you value our work and want us to continue then please join us and be part of The Canary family.

In return, you get:

* Advert free reading experience
* Quarterly group video call with the Editor-in-Chief
* Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
* 20% discount in our shop

Almost all of our spending goes to the people who make The Canary’s content. So your contribution directly supports our writers and enables us to continue to do what we do: speaking truth, powered by you. We have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence our vital opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right-wing mainstream media.

With your help we can continue:

* Holding political and state power to account
* Advocating for the people the system marginalises
* Being a media outlet that upholds the highest standards
* Campaigning on the issues others won’t
* Putting your lives central to everything we do

We are a drop of truth in an ocean of deceit. But we can’t do this without your support. So please, can you help us continue the fight?

The Canary Support us

Comments are closed