‘Someone should challenge Corbyn, BUT NOT ME!’ says every Labour MP

'Someone should challenge Corbyn BUT NOT ME!' says every Labour MP-01
Support us and go ad-free

Many of Jeremy Corbyn’s rivals think that he’s doing a terrible job. And yet none of them seem eager to challenge him. Almost as if they appreciate that, regardless of who’s in charge, they face an uphill battle. A battle which will take place in a pouring gale with no shoes on and a flock of rabid kestrels bombarding them from every conceivable angle.

The contenders

One of the most prominent MPs to suggest Corbyn should be replaced was Jess Phillips. Phillips said it was “too soon” to put herself forwards though. Likely because she needs time to gain experience and become a likable/competent politician.

Another who seemed to back away from the prospect was deputy leader Tom Watson. Watson was on TV, gloating about his party’s historic loss, when someone asked if he would run himself. Rather than answering though, Watson ran at the nearest window in an attempt to escape from the building.

This ended up being particularly ill-thought out, as the window was actually extra-tough perspex. And as a result, Watson ended up knocking himself into a stupor. Or at least that’s what he claimed anyway. He was possibly just faking it to avoid answering any more questions.

Saving Labour?

Beyond these two, pretty much every other MP has screamed “NO!” or “YOU CAN’T MAKE ME!” when asked if they’d run.

Because the problems facing Labour are many.

Voters don’t really trust or like their politicians. The media won’t back them. Half of the party hates the other half. Tony Blair keeps intervening on the off chance people suddenly like him again. And until Brexit has progressed/descended into complete chaos, voters will likely stick with the only party that seems to have a firm stance on the issue.

Read on...

Even if said stance is leading us down a figurative, Apocalypse Now-type river while screaming:

I LOVE THE SMELL OF BREXIT IN THE MORNING!

Get Involved!

– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.

Featured image via Pixabay

We know everyone is suffering under the Tories - but the Canary is a vital weapon in our fight back, and we need your support

The Canary Workers’ Co-op knows life is hard. The Tories are waging a class war against us we’re all having to fight. But like trade unions and community organising, truly independent working-class media is a vital weapon in our armoury.

The Canary doesn’t have the budget of the corporate media. In fact, our income is over 1,000 times less than the Guardian’s. What we do have is a radical agenda that disrupts power and amplifies marginalised communities. But we can only do this with our readers’ support.

So please, help us continue to spread messages of resistance and hope. Even the smallest donation would mean the world to us.

Support us

Comments are closed