According to the Liberal Democrat deputy leader and Scottish MP Jo Swinson, we simply must have a statue to Margaret Thatcher.
But how could any one monument embody everything that made Thatcher what she was?
Don’t worry yourself thinking about that, because the geniuses at Tory HQ have come up with a solution.
Margaret Thatcher was many things to many people. At her core though, she was an absolute bastard who shut down coal mines without providing for the people who worked in them.
As such, there could be no better tribute than taking another absolute bastard and bricking her up in an abandoned mineshaft.
Off The Perch caught up with the government minister for symbolism to hear the thinking behind the scheme:
We needed a powerful symbol to honour Thatcher. We didn’t want to spend much money though, and thankfully we had a PM who was just sitting around not doing anything.
Read on...Support us and go ad-free
Obviously, we now have to replace the prime minister, but even that’s cheaper than paying for a proper monument. We just stuffed a suit with straw, gave it a speech bubble that reads ‘Brexit means Brexit’, and propped it up on The Andrew Marr Show.
The witch is dead
Some people are worried that the monument doesn’t fully encompass Thatcher’s legacy. If you’re one of those people, you can make sure that her influence remains unforgotten by:
- Stealing milk from children.
- Letting the bankers have the milk.
- Making George Osborne cry.
Featured image via YouTube screengrab
Do your bit for independent journalism
Did you know that less than 1.5% of our readers contribute financially to The Canary? Imagine what we could do if just a few more people joined our movement to achieve a shared vision of a free and fair society where we nurture people and planet.
We need you to help out, if you can.
When you give a monthly amount to fund our work, you are supporting truly independent journalism. We hold power to account and have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence the counterpoint to the mainstream.
You can count on us for rigorous journalism and fearless opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right wing mainstream media.
In return you get:
- Advert free reading experience
- Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
- 20% discount from our shop