Tommy Robinson ‘attacked’ by the ‘ninjas’ from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

A ninja attacking a man with a skinhead and light saber
Support us and go ad-free

Tommy Robinson (pictured here punching an African gentleman in Italy) was recently ‘attacked’ outside a McDonald’s. Although some have suggested the video may in fact have been staged:

Not one to be embarrassed by others when he can do the job himself, Robinson released a video of a second ‘assault’.

Everybody was kung-fu fighting

In the new video, Robinson is walking out of a Kentucky Fried Chicken when several assailants come flying towards him.

Read on...

“Ninjas!” Robinson shouts, although the attackers clearly seem to be dressed like the shaolin masters from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.

The ‘ninjas’ are visibly flying in on wires. A fact which becomes painfully apparent when one of the harnesses snags and the ‘ninja’ in question is left dangling like a deadly testicle.

Most people staging such a video would probably pretend to get beaten up in order to make their enemies look like the bad guys. Robinson’s ego is such that he had to get the upper hand though – even in a pretend video.

This is why Robinson was seen to ‘beat up’ his attackers as he shouted “so much for the tolerant left!”

Those pricks were as fast as lightning 

Robinson dispatched the ‘ninjas’ who ran away shouting “Sharia law rules!” Robinson was then confronted by what appeared to be a rubbery bad guy from the 1990s show Power Rangers.

“Look, it’s George Soros!” Robinson shouted, before tackling the prosthetic terror.

If you’re unfamiliar with George Soros, he’s a billionaire Jewish person whom many on the right think secretly controls the world. He isn’t actually a children’s TV bad guy, but you’d be forgiven for thinking otherwise if you run in Tommy Robinson’s circles.

Really, though, if these people are that bothered about ‘globalism’, they should probably think about this:

Get Involved!

– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.

Featured image via The Camo – Deviant Art

We know everyone is suffering under the Tories - but the Canary is a vital weapon in our fight back, and we need your support

The Canary Workers’ Co-op knows life is hard. The Tories are waging a class war against us we’re all having to fight. But like trade unions and community organising, truly independent working-class media is a vital weapon in our armoury.

The Canary doesn’t have the budget of the corporate media. In fact, our income is over 1,000 times less than the Guardian’s. What we do have is a radical agenda that disrupts power and amplifies marginalised communities. But we can only do this with our readers’ support.

So please, help us continue to spread messages of resistance and hope. Even the smallest donation would mean the world to us.

Support us

Comments are closed