REVEALED! Government had targets to drag society back to the 1890s

David Cameron, Iain Duncan Smith, and Theresa May saying: "Divide and Conquer"
Support us and go ad-free

Amber Rudd said the Home Office didn’t have targets for deporting people; records showed that they did. This is bad news for Rudd and Theresa May, as it means they need a new excuse for not resigning.

But these were not the only targets this government had. They were merely part of a much larger plan to drag society back to the 1890s.

Pig society

When David Cameron was still prime minister, he famously said:

For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens ‘as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone’.

In a lesser-known speech at a brandy lodge, he expanded on this:

For too long, these oiks have been taking the piss! Thinking as long as they’re provably human, we aren’t going to fuck with them!

But unless someone is a multi-millionaire backer of the Tory party, they best watch out, yeah? Because we’re coming for them!

Read on...

Support us and go ad-free

A drunk Cameron then proceeded to do a little dance as industrialists stuffed cheques into his waistband.

Divide and monster

Cameron launched OPERATION DIVIDE AND CONQUER with his underlings, Theresa May and Iain Duncan Smith. This was in response to that thing getting in the way of their plans. A thing called ‘society’.

Although people in the UK were still prone to bigotry of all kinds, there had at least been progress. Obviously this was a problem, as when the masses aren’t busy hating one another, they’re paying attention to the government.

Targets

The plan aimed to drag Britain kicking and screaming back to the 1890s. Targets along the way included:

  • Making it seem like every non-white person was an illegal immigrant.
  • Making it seem like every unemployed, young, or disabled person was a feckless scrounger.
  • Making it seem like anyone who was different in any way whatsoever was INSANE.
  • Making it clear that disagreement with any of the above was communism.

Meddling kids

There was a problem with the Tories’ plan, though. It relied on every person in the UK being like your average Tory minister, i.e. having all the morality of a mechanical shark on crack.

It’s transpired that many in the UK do have principles, however. And that’s why the Tories won’t win.

Get Involved!

– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.

– Join The Canary, so we can keep holding the powerful to account.

Featured image via Teacher Dude – Flickr / Chris McAndrew – Wikimedia / Remy Steinegger – Wikimedia

Support us and go ad-free

We need your help to keep speaking the truth

Every story that you have come to us with; each injustice you have asked us to investigate; every campaign we have fought; each of your unheard voices we amplified; we do this for you. We are making a difference on your behalf.

Our fight is your fight. You’ve supported our collective struggle every time you gave us a like; and every time you shared our work across social media. Now we need you to support us with a monthly donation.

We have published nearly 2,000 articles and over 50 films in 2021. And we want to do this and more in 2022 but we don’t have enough money to go on at this pace. So, if you value our work and want us to continue then please join us and be part of The Canary family.

In return, you get:

* Advert free reading experience
* Quarterly group video call with the Editor-in-Chief
* Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
* 20% discount in our shop

Almost all of our spending goes to the people who make The Canary’s content. So your contribution directly supports our writers and enables us to continue to do what we do: speaking truth, powered by you. We have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence our vital opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right-wing mainstream media.

With your help we can continue:

* Holding political and state power to account
* Advocating for the people the system marginalises
* Being a media outlet that upholds the highest standards
* Campaigning on the issues others won’t
* Putting your lives central to everything we do

We are a drop of truth in an ocean of deceit. But we can’t do this without your support. So please, can you help us continue the fight?

The Canary Support us

Comments are closed