Rudd is out!
Javid is in!
But why such a fast turnaround?
A leaked application has shed light on the situation.
The job application – hastily scribbled on the back of a deportation memo – asked the following:
Can you start immediately?
Read on...Support us and go ad-free
- Do you have a passion for other people’s mistakes?
- Did you vote in favour of all the horror-bills which are now causing us so many problems?
- Does ‘bullet shield’ sound like a cool nickname you’d like to have?
- Are you unaware of the expression ‘the last days of Rome’?
- Will you agree not to join in with all the other ministers when they make me look like a twat? This would be nice, but I appreciate beggars can’t be choosers.
- Do you yearn to take bullets for others – crave it in fact – leaping at said bullets like a greedy Labrador chasing toffees?
- Do you have practical ideas for dealing with immigration? If so, this job isn’t for you.
- Are you happy to lie until such a point that your trousers catch fire? Are you happy to claim that said trousers aren’t ablaze even when they are?
- Do you have no shame? What am I saying – of course you don’t! You’re a Tory!
- Again – are you immediately available to start taking bullets for me? There are so many of them!
Lots of love,
Thankfully for May, there were hundreds of Tories who met this description. Unluckily for us, these people are all still in power.
– Join The Canary, so we can keep holding the powerful to account.
Featured image via Daniel Leal-Olivas of i-Images – Flickr
Do your bit for independent journalism
Did you know that less than 1.5% of our readers contribute financially to The Canary? Imagine what we could do if just a few more people joined our movement to achieve a shared vision of a free and fair society where we nurture people and planet.
We need you to help out, if you can.
When you give a monthly amount to fund our work, you are supporting truly independent journalism. We hold power to account and have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence the counterpoint to the mainstream.
You can count on us for rigorous journalism and fearless opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right wing mainstream media.
In return you get:
- Advert free reading experience
- Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
- 20% discount from our shop