Calls to renationalise the government following years of successive failure

Sign saying 'The Conservatives are proudly brought to you by Virgin, Carillion, and Saudi Arabia'
Support us and go ad-free

The government has once more brought the East Coast mainline back under public control. This led to calls for the entire network to be renationalised. It also saw calls for that “robbing cunt Branson to be used as a railway sleeper”.

The rail line isn’t the only example of a privatised body producing disastrous results, however. The Conservatives have been run by private industry for years, and the government is fucking terrible.

Bought and paid for

Privatisation junkie Margaret Thatcher was famous for selling off branches of government. What’s less well known is that she completely sold off parliament too. That’s why so much infrastructure has been sold since – because the people buying it are pulling the politicians’ strings.

That Thatcher was bought and paid for is obvious when you read her most famous quotes in their entirety. For example:

There is no such thing as society: there are individual men and women, and there are families. All of whom should drink Coke.

And:

The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people’s money. Capitalism – it’s finger lickin’ good.

Read on...

Support us and go ad-free

And:

The lady’s not for turning. Not for turning down the low, low prices at Chessington World of Adventures this bank holiday weekend. Call now and use the code ‘MILK-SNATCHER’ to get a further 15% off.

Diminishing returns

Buying up the soulless stooges who run Britain was a smart move for big business. It allowed them to sell the country piecemeal to themselves. But now, there’s nothing left to sell.

Not until we seize it back off the fuckers, anyway.

Get Involved!

– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.

– Join The Canary, so we can keep holding the powerful to account.

Featured image via John Shafthauer / Ayman Makki – Wikimedia

Support us and go ad-free

Do your bit for independent journalism

Did you know that less than 1.5% of our readers contribute financially to The Canary? Imagine what we could do if just a few more people joined our movement to achieve a shared vision of a free and fair society where we nurture people and planet.

We need you to help out, if you can.

When you give a monthly amount to fund our work, you are supporting truly independent journalism. We hold power to account and have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence the counterpoint to the mainstream.

You can count on us for rigorous journalism and fearless opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right wing mainstream media.

In return you get:

  • Advert free reading experience
  • Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
  • 20% discount from our shop

 

The Canary Fund us

Comments are closed