Ministers explain how May’s proposed EU-union is different from just being in the EU

Michael Gove saying: "We've basically fused Maastricht with some Magna Carta sh*t"
John Shafthauer

The cabinet has finally agreed on a Brexit plan. They may not like it, and the EU may not agree to it, but they are at least standing behind it.

This means ministers have to go on national television and answer the following question:

How is this any different from just being in the EU?

It’s worse

Michael Gove had to answer this question on The Andrew Marr Show. He responded:

Well, we won’t have any say in the rules we’re agreeing to for a start.

“Okay,” Marr said, “now tell me how this will be better than being in the EU?”

A flustered Gove checked his notes:

The Prime Minister has informed me… that this arrangement… will be strong, white, and patriotic… to the max… on fleek… and totes amazeballs… or something…

Once he’d finished speaking, Gove followed his next instruction. This involved him doing a little jig and singing in monotone:

Brexit’s coming home.

Boris Johnson, meanwhile, was asked by Robert Peston:

So, foreign secretary, what do you like about this proposal?

“What I like is that I can’t be held accountable for it when it all goes to toffee,” Johnson answered, before guffawing in Latin. “But seriously, though, it’s a bloody good deal.”

Johnson turned to the camera and winked at this point.

“It’s such a good deal I can honestly say it’s no worse than what I would have come up with,” he added.

Bregret

One group who aren’t pleased with May’s plan are the Brexit hardliners. They’re complaining, but many are saying they should stop talking down Brexit.

They won, after all.

They need to get over it.

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Featured image via BrexitCentral – YouTube 

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John Shafthauer