Canary Workers’ Co-op Canary Workers’ Co-op

Ministers explain how May’s proposed EU-union is different from just being in the EU

Michael Gove saying: "We've basically fused Maastricht with some Magna Carta sh*t"

The cabinet has finally agreed on a Brexit plan. They may not like it, and the EU may not agree to it, but they are at least standing behind it.

This means ministers have to go on national television and answer the following question:

How is this any different from just being in the EU?

It’s worse

Michael Gove had to answer this question on The Andrew Marr Show. He responded:

Well, we won’t have any say in the rules we’re agreeing to for a start.

“Okay,” Marr said, “now tell me how this will be better than being in the EU?”

A flustered Gove checked his notes:

Read on...

The Prime Minister has informed me… that this arrangement… will be strong, white, and patriotic… to the max… on fleek… and totes amazeballs… or something…

Once he’d finished speaking, Gove followed his next instruction. This involved him doing a little jig and singing in monotone:

Brexit’s coming home.

Boris Johnson, meanwhile, was asked by Robert Peston:

So, foreign secretary, what do you like about this proposal?

“What I like is that I can’t be held accountable for it when it all goes to toffee,” Johnson answered, before guffawing in Latin. “But seriously, though, it’s a bloody good deal.”

Johnson turned to the camera and winked at this point.

“It’s such a good deal I can honestly say it’s no worse than what I would have come up with,” he added.

Bregret

One group who aren’t pleased with May’s plan are the Brexit hardliners. They’re complaining, but many are saying they should stop talking down Brexit.

They won, after all.

They need to get over it.

Get Involved!

– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.

– Join The Canary, so we can keep holding the powerful to account.

Featured image via BrexitCentral – YouTube 

We’re a thorn in the side of the establishment, but we can’t do it without your help

Your fight is our fight. But as many of you will know, speaking truth to power has never been easy, especially for a small, independent media outlet such as the Canary. We have weathered many attempts to silence our vital opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right-wing mainstream media. Now more than ever, we need your support.

We don’t have fancy offices, and our entire staff works remotely. Almost all of our income is spent on paying the people who make the Canary’s content. So your contribution directly supports our team and enables us to continue to do what we do: disrupt power, and amplify people.

But we can’t do this without you. So please, if you appreciate our work, can you help us continue the fight?

Canary Workers’ Co-op Support us

Comments are closed