EU claims rejected Brexit ‘plan’ was just 300 pages of the word ‘Brexit’
The notorious Chequers plan saw Theresa May gather her cabinet and make them agree to a Brexit plan. None of them actually agreed with the plan, of course. They merely agreed to have one. Except for the ministers who didn’t, obviously, who’ve all subsequently fucked off.
Regardless of the exodus, the Chequers plan was handed over to the EU. As ever, it hasn’t gone down that well.
Waffle means waffle
According to a senior source at the EU:
It’s just nonsense. The first 100 pages are just the word ‘Brexit’ repeated over and over. The 50 pages after that are ‘Brexit’ but in different fonts.
They tried to get creative after that – writing ‘Brexit’ in other languages and such. Most other languages don’t have a word for ‘Brexit’, though, so they just used foreign words for ‘shit’ like ‘merde’, and ‘scheisse’.
Sadly, there are only so many words for poo. That’s presumably why they switched to writing ‘Brexit’ in binary, morse code, sign language, etc.
The final part was an essay from Jacob Rees-Mogg about what Brexit meant to him. It was just another 30 pages of the word ‘Brexit’.
Read on...
Support us and go ad-freeStill though, it’s a big step up from anything else they’ve sent us.
Culpability
The government has been asked why they even bothered submitting such a steaming pile of Brexit. A spokesperson responded:
Report means report.
Get Involved!
– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.
– Join The Canary, so we can keep holding the powerful to account.
Featured image via Lionel Allorge – Wikimedia [IMAGES WERE ALL ALTERED]
Support us and go ad-freeWe know everyone is suffering under the Tories - but the Canary is a vital weapon in our fight back, and we need your support
The Canary Workers’ Co-op knows life is hard. The Tories are waging a class war against us we’re all having to fight. But like trade unions and community organising, truly independent working-class media is a vital weapon in our armoury.
The Canary doesn’t have the budget of the corporate media. In fact, our income is over 1,000 times less than the Guardian’s. What we do have is a radical agenda that disrupts power and amplifies marginalised communities. But we can only do this with our readers’ support.
So please, help us continue to spread messages of resistance and hope. Even the smallest donation would mean the world to us.
