When Boris Johnson quit as foreign secretary, he didn’t think he’d have to give up the £20m Foreign Office mansion. He didn’t have a good reason for thinking that. He simply hadn’t thought things through – as per usual.
The idiot’s guide to politics
After resigning as foreign secretary, Johnson had many questions. They included:
- Am I still allowed to use the limo?
- Am I still allowed to tell people I’m the foreign secretary at parties?
- Am I still allowed to make dubious expenses claims? What do you mean I shouldn’t have been doing that anyway? Well, that’s a bloody affront!
Despite being told ‘no’ to all of these, Johnson decided to carry on regardless.
There was some attempt to shoo Johnson out of the mansion. The former foreign secretary fought back, though. Namely by stripping down to his underpants and covering himself in grease. This prevented the beefeaters charged with evicting him from getting a grip of the slimy oaf.
Since then, Johnson has been sitting around in a pool of his own slipperiness – drinking from the government mini bar and smoking cigars he stole from the Winston Churchill museum.
Still though – at least he isn’t representing us on the world stage anymore. And you can’t put a price on that.
– Join The Canary, so we can keep holding the powerful to account.
We need your help to keep speaking the truth
Every story that you have come to us with; each injustice you have asked us to investigate; every campaign we have fought; each of your unheard voices we amplified; we do this for you. We are making a difference on your behalf.
Our fight is your fight. You’ve supported our collective struggle every time you gave us a like; and every time you shared our work across social media. Now we need you to support us with a monthly donation.
We have published nearly 2,000 articles and over 50 films in 2021. And we want to do this and more in 2022 but we don’t have enough money to go on at this pace. So, if you value our work and want us to continue then please join us and be part of The Canary family.
In return, you get:
* Advert free reading experience
* Quarterly group video call with the Editor-in-Chief
* Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
* 20% discount in our shop
Almost all of our spending goes to the people who make The Canary’s content. So your contribution directly supports our writers and enables us to continue to do what we do: speaking truth, powered by you. We have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence our vital opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right-wing mainstream media.
With your help we can continue:
* Holding political and state power to account
* Advocating for the people the system marginalises
* Being a media outlet that upholds the highest standards
* Campaigning on the issues others won’t
* Putting your lives central to everything we do
We are a drop of truth in an ocean of deceit. But we can’t do this without your support. So please, can you help us continue the fight?