Fresh gaffe as Chinese diplomats mistake some random idiot for Jeremy Hunt

Jeremy Hunt in front of the Chinese flag
Support us and go ad-free

On 30 July, Jeremy Hunt somehow managed to describe his Chinese wife as “Japanese”. That wasn’t where the mix-ups ended, however. Not long afterwards, some random idiot found himself mistaken for Hunt.

The Hunt becomes the shunted 

The berk in question was one of those handkerchief-wearing Gumbys from Monty Python.

The Gumby allegedly escaped from John Cleese’s basement and fled to China. The Chinese diplomats came across the brain-dead dolt and found themselves completely unable to tell the difference between him and the foreign secretary.

The Gumby said to them:

I! WOULD! LIKE! TO! SELL! YOU! JAM!

Hearing this, the diplomats assumed it was Hunt. Largely as he’d said the exact same thing to them the day before.

Read on...

Support us and go ad-free

Suspicious minds 

After a few hours, the Chinese politicians began to suspect the Gumby wasn’t actually a Conservative politician. Namely as he said things like:

MY! BRAIN! IS! VERY! TOILET!

and:

AUSTERITY! IS! A! LOAD! OF! SAUSAGE!

and:

THE! BORDER! IN! NORTHERN! IRELAND! CAN’T! BE! SOLVED! WITH! WISHFUL! DAFFODILS!

All three of these statements showed a level of self-awareness that’s obviously lacking in Tory politicians.

Pants

The Chinese diplomats later found the real Hunt. He’d become trapped in his hotel room’s trouser press. He hadn’t realised you’re supposed to take the trousers off first.

When he was freed, Hunt said to them:

MY! TROUSERS! ARE! VERY! JAPANESE!

This wasn’t right, Hunt realised, so he promptly corrected himself.

SORRY! I! MEAN! MY! TROUSERS! ARE! ON! FIRE!

Get Involved!

– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.

– Join The Canary, so we can keep holding the powerful to account.

Included image via YouTube

Featured image via NHS Confederation – Flickr / Daderot – Wikimedia [IMAGES WERE ALTERED]

Support us and go ad-free

We know everyone is suffering under the Tories - but the Canary is a vital weapon in our fight back, and we need your support

The Canary Workers’ Co-op knows life is hard. The Tories are waging a class war against us we’re all having to fight. But like trade unions and community organising, truly independent working-class media is a vital weapon in our armoury.

The Canary doesn’t have the budget of the corporate media. In fact, our income is over 1,000 times less than the Guardian’s. What we do have is a radical agenda that disrupts power and amplifies marginalised communities. But we can only do this with our readers’ support.

So please, help us continue to spread messages of resistance and hope. Even the smallest donation would mean the world to us.

Support us

Comments are closed