UK Centrists try to emulate the Macron movement. Without the Macron. Or the movement.

President Macron smiling with some Labour centrists behind him
Support us and go ad-free

France’s President Macron became popular in France by claiming to offer something different. Centrists in the UK would also like to offer something different. They don’t have anything different, but that doesn’t mean they don’t want to offer it.

The problem is they lack a Macron-type figure who can competently bullshit the electorate. They also don’t have their own movement. They do have an idea, though. Namely to copy someone else’s.

Forwards! 

The name of Macron’s political party is En Marche! This roughly translates as ‘Forwards!’ or ‘On the Move!’ A focus group found these names were too exciting for UK centrists. Instead, they’ve adopted the more passive sounding ‘Standing’. This sounds active, but doesn’t preclude standing still.

As they’ve no Macron-like figure to lead them, the centrists are using the next best thing: cardboard cut-outs of the French president to stand beside. The effectiveness of these cut-outs led them to question if they could use replicas of themselves. They agreed the cut-outs could do the job, but failed to see how they’d get paid. As such, the idea was shelved.

Movement 

The last problem is that centrists don’t have a movement behind them. Although it seems like fighting to stay in the European Union would be a suitable campaign for them to glom themselves onto, that likely won’t happen. Namely as it would involve having clear objectives and policies.

Get Involved!

– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.

Read on...

Support us and go ad-free

– Join The Canary, so we can keep holding the powerful to account.

Featured image via Financial Times – Flickr / Official Leweb Photos – Wikimedia [IMAGE WAS ALTERED]

Support us and go ad-free

We need your help to keep speaking the truth

Every story that you have come to us with; each injustice you have asked us to investigate; every campaign we have fought; each of your unheard voices we amplified; we do this for you. We are making a difference on your behalf.

Our fight is your fight. You’ve supported our collective struggle every time you gave us a like; and every time you shared our work across social media. Now we need you to support us with a monthly donation.

We have published nearly 2,000 articles and over 50 films in 2021. And we want to do this and more in 2022 but we don’t have enough money to go on at this pace. So, if you value our work and want us to continue then please join us and be part of The Canary family.

In return, you get:

* Advert free reading experience
* Quarterly group video call with the Editor-in-Chief
* Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
* 20% discount in our shop

Almost all of our spending goes to the people who make The Canary’s content. So your contribution directly supports our writers and enables us to continue to do what we do: speaking truth, powered by you. We have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence our vital opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right-wing mainstream media.

With your help we can continue:

* Holding political and state power to account
* Advocating for the people the system marginalises
* Being a media outlet that upholds the highest standards
* Campaigning on the issues others won’t
* Putting your lives central to everything we do

We are a drop of truth in an ocean of deceit. But we can’t do this without your support. So please, can you help us continue the fight?

The Canary Support us

Comments are closed