Useless PM clings to awful job she’s terrible at

Theresa May with the words 'NOTHING HAS CHANGED' over her face
John Shafthauer

Theresa May told us there was no better Brexit deal than hers. But facing a massive defeat, she cancelled the vote so she could go and ask the EU if a better deal was on offer.

Desperation

Being PM is a terrible job – especially when you’re a woeful politician. That’s during normal circumstances, too. Right now, we have a political situation that demands decisive action, but a PM who can barely decide what she wants for breakfast.

And yet – and fucking yet – she’s still clinging on, even though stepping aside would be so much easier.

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Off The Perch visited Downing Street to ask May if she’d resign, but she wouldn’t answer the question. She wouldn’t even let us ask the question. Before we could get the words out, she’d tossed an apple straight into our mouth.

More trouble than it’s worth

By the time we’d prised the apple out, May had leapt out of a window and was doing some parkour shit over the rooftops of London.

“Why don’t you put this much effort into not being terrible?” we screamed after her.

But she carried on. Because for some reason, she thinks these unnecessary acrobatics are more dignified than admitting defeat.

Featured image via EU2017 Estonian Presidency – Wikimedia

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John Shafthauer