Useless PM clings to awful job she’s terrible at

Theresa May with the words 'NOTHING HAS CHANGED' over her face
Wilson Belshaw

Theresa May told us there was no better Brexit deal than hers. But facing a massive defeat, she cancelled the vote so she could go and ask the EU if a better deal was on offer.

Desperation

Being PM is a terrible job – especially when you’re a woeful politician. That’s during normal circumstances, too. Right now, we have a political situation that demands decisive action, but a PM who can barely decide what she wants for breakfast.

And yet – and fucking yet – she’s still clinging on, even though stepping aside would be so much easier.

Off The Perch visited Downing Street to ask May if she’d resign, but she wouldn’t answer the question. She wouldn’t even let us ask the question. Before we could get the words out, she’d tossed an apple straight into our mouth.

More trouble than it’s worth

By the time we’d prised the apple out, May had leapt out of a window and was doing some parkour shit over the rooftops of London.

“Why don’t you put this much effort into not being terrible?” we screamed after her.

But she carried on. Because for some reason, she thinks these unnecessary acrobatics are more dignified than admitting defeat.

Featured image via EU2017 Estonian Presidency – Wikimedia

Get involved

We need your help ...

The coronavirus pandemic is changing our world, fast. And we will do all we can to keep bringing you news and analysis throughout. But we are worried about maintaining enough income to pay our staff and minimal overheads.

Now, more than ever, we need a vibrant, independent media that holds the government to account and calls it out when it puts vested economic interests above human lives. We need a media that shows solidarity with the people most affected by the crisis – and one that can help to build a world based on collaboration and compassion.

We have been fighting against an establishment that is trying to shut us down. And like most independent media, we don’t have the deep pockets of investors to call on to bail us out.

Can you help by chipping in a few pounds each month?

The Canary Support us
Wilson Belshaw