Useless PM clings to awful job she’s terrible at
Theresa May told us there was no better Brexit deal than hers. But facing a massive defeat, she cancelled the vote so she could go and ask the EU if a better deal was on offer.
Being PM is a terrible job – especially when you’re a woeful politician. That’s during normal circumstances, too. Right now, we have a political situation that demands decisive action, but a PM who can barely decide what she wants for breakfast.
And yet – and fucking yet – she’s still clinging on, even though stepping aside would be so much easier.
Off The Perch visited Downing Street to ask May if she’d resign, but she wouldn’t answer the question. She wouldn’t even let us ask the question. Before we could get the words out, she’d tossed an apple straight into our mouth.
More trouble than it’s worth
By the time we’d prised the apple out, May had leapt out of a window and was doing some parkour shit over the rooftops of London.
“Why don’t you put this much effort into not being terrible?” we screamed after her.
But she carried on. Because for some reason, she thinks these unnecessary acrobatics are more dignified than admitting defeat.
Featured image via EU2017 Estonian Presidency – Wikimedia
- For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.
We know everyone is suffering under the Tories - but the Canary is a vital weapon in our fight back, and we need your support
The Canary Workers’ Co-op knows life is hard. The Tories are waging a class war against us we’re all having to fight. But like trade unions and community organising, truly independent working-class media is a vital weapon in our armoury.
The Canary doesn’t have the budget of the corporate media. In fact, our income is over 1,000 times less than the Guardian’s. What we do have is a radical agenda that disrupts power and amplifies marginalised communities. But we can only do this with our readers’ support.
So please, help us continue to spread messages of resistance and hope. Even the smallest donation would mean the world to us.
Leave a ReplyYou must be logged in to leave a comment.Join the conversation
Please read our comment moderation policy here.