Tories somehow lose confidence in Theresa ‘Brextastrophe’ May

Disingenuously shocked man
John Shafthauer

Theresa May – despite all her strength and stability – has become the subject of a confidence vote.

Quelle surprise!

Like, what the what, guys?

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You can’t genuinely have lost confidence in Big Thez, can you? Whatever happened to PM means PM?

The ‘achievements’ of Theresa May

You sometimes forget, but May has achieved quite a lot. For example, she:

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  • Just about beat Jeremy Corbyn in a general election – a man who was beloved by the political establishment and had the cards stacked in his favour.
  • Managed to deport quite a lot of the Windrush generation before anyone noticed.
  • Ate an entire cone of chips without dislocating her jaw and swallowing them in one go like a snake.
  • Understood that ‘Brexit meant Brexit’ – and, indeed, that ‘word’ usually means ‘word’.
  • Got snubbed by Trump without totally humiliating herself. Which is to say she let him walk her around like a show pony, but refused to wear a saddle and whinny.
  • Became the first PM in history to bin her entire manifesto.
  • Became the first PM in history to bin her entire manifesto without the media asking, “hang on a minute – did you just bin your entire manifesto?”
  • Gave new meanings to the words ‘strong’ and ‘stable’.
But seriously

The most amazing thing about this fiasco is that May looks like she still commands some support in her party.

That means Tory MPs are going to enter Parliament today and officially say they have confidence in May right now.

A move which will surely reflect well on them come the next election.

Featured image via David Goehring – Flickr

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John Shafthauer