Daily Mail headlines come to life and begin threatening people outside parliament

4 of the same yellow-vest fascist protestor outside parliament
Support us and go ad-free

Since the Brexit vote, frothing shit-rags like the Daily Mail have really ramped up their rhetoric. The headlines produced in this period have been more hateful than Nick Griffin’s amateur poetry. This is unfortunate, as a freak accident means several of these headlines have now come to life.

Wankensteins

The headlines proved so toxic that the newspapers they were printed on had to be treated like nuclear waste. As part of our super Brexit strategy, we paid a Taiwanese firm to dispose of this toxic waste for us. The problem is they stored it with nuclear refuse and when lightning struck, the headlines came to life.

Since then, these yellow-glowing menaces have been hanging around outside Westminster – threatening ‘enemies of the people’ and ‘saboteurs’. Weirdly, the police have just stood by and watched – even as the mutants threatened them:

Read on...

Support us and go ad-free

The head of the police explained:

The UK police are notoriously powerless to arrest people who are threatening them. Just visit any town centre on a Saturday night and you’ll see that. Obviously, we need new powers to ban any group of two or more people gathering outside with intent.

Denial

The tabloids have denied their role in creating these toxic crusaders. They just haven’t denied it too firmly, as obviously a lot of their readers are on board with this sort of thing. This is exactly what the tabloids have prepared them for, after all.

Featured image via YouTube

Support us and go ad-free

Get involved

Do your bit for independent journalism

Did you know that less than 1.5% of our readers contribute financially to The Canary? Imagine what we could do if just a few more people joined our movement to achieve a shared vision of a free and fair society where we nurture people and planet.

We need you to help out, if you can.

When you give a monthly amount to fund our work, you are supporting truly independent journalism. We hold power to account and have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence the counterpoint to the mainstream.

You can count on us for rigorous journalism and fearless opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right wing mainstream media.

In return you get:

  • Advert free reading experience
  • Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
  • 20% discount from our shop

 

The Canary Fund us