‘Brexit means Brexit’ negotiator considers rewriting the Good Friday Agreement

You could accuse Theresa May of being many things, but a ‘negotiator’ isn’t one of them. In the latest ‘last-ditch attempt’ to save her Brexit deal, she allegedly read from a script. And yet, despite her obvious negotiating failings, she’s considering a rewrite of the Good Friday Agreement.

Northern Ireland hasn’t had a government for over two years because of political deadlock. A bomb went off in Derry on Saturday. The Northern Ireland Secretary admits she just discovered that unionists don’t vote Sinn Fein. And the government’s big plan is to renegotiate the GFA? pic.twitter.com/lrBcf9P044

— Jon Stone (@joncstone) January 20, 2019

Reassurances

May sought to reassure people with the following statement:

Let me be clear. I am very knowledgeable about the Northern Ireland. For instance, did you know Northern Ireland is a part of the United Kingdom in the north-east of the island of Ireland, variously described as a country, province or region? Northern Ireland shares a border to the south and west with the Republic of Ireland. In 2011, its population was 1,810,863, constituting about-”

“Hang on a minute!” one of the gathered attendees shouted. “You’re just reading from the Wikipedia entry!”

In response to this, May pulled out a different script.

“Oh no I am not,” she read from it, before returning to her original:

The Northern Irelanders drive on the left hand side of the road; their capital is Belfast, and their political situation is… hmm… probably shouldn’t read that bit out, actually. But let me assure you: Good Friday Agreement means Good Friday Agreement.

Gloomy predictions

If you’re worried about May befouling the deal, you probably shouldn’t be. It took her over two years to start doing her Brexit plan – by the time she gets a look at the Good Friday Agreement, she’ll be long gone.

Featured image via Jim Mattis – Wikimedia (image was altered)