‘Brexit means Brexit’ negotiator considers rewriting the Good Friday Agreement
You could accuse Theresa May of being many things, but a ‘negotiator’ isn’t one of them. In the latest ‘last-ditch attempt’ to save her Brexit deal, she allegedly read from a script. And yet, despite her obvious negotiating failings, she’s considering a rewrite of the Good Friday Agreement.
Northern Ireland hasn’t had a government for over two years because of political deadlock. A bomb went off in Derry on Saturday. The Northern Ireland Secretary admits she just discovered that unionists don’t vote Sinn Fein. And the government’s big plan is to renegotiate the GFA? pic.twitter.com/lrBcf9P044
— Jon Stone (@joncstone) January 20, 2019
Reassurances
May sought to reassure people with the following statement:
Let me be clear. I am very knowledgeable about the Northern Ireland. For instance, did you know Northern Ireland is a part of the United Kingdom in the north-east of the island of Ireland, variously described as a country, province or region? Northern Ireland shares a border to the south and west with the Republic of Ireland. In 2011, its population was 1,810,863, constituting about-”
Read on...
“Hang on a minute!” one of the gathered attendees shouted. “You’re just reading from the Wikipedia entry!”
In response to this, May pulled out a different script.
“Oh no I am not,” she read from it, before returning to her original:
The Northern Irelanders drive on the left hand side of the road; their capital is Belfast, and their political situation is… hmm… probably shouldn’t read that bit out, actually. But let me assure you: Good Friday Agreement means Good Friday Agreement.
Gloomy predictions
If you’re worried about May befouling the deal, you probably shouldn’t be. It took her over two years to start doing her Brexit plan – by the time she gets a look at the Good Friday Agreement, she’ll be long gone.
Featured image via Jim Mattis – Wikimedia (image was altered)
Get involved
- For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.
We know everyone is suffering under the Tories - but the Canary is a vital weapon in our fight back, and we need your support
The Canary Workers’ Co-op knows life is hard. The Tories are waging a class war against us we’re all having to fight. But like trade unions and community organising, truly independent working-class media is a vital weapon in our armoury.
The Canary doesn’t have the budget of the corporate media. In fact, our income is over 1,000 times less than the Guardian’s. What we do have is a radical agenda that disrupts power and amplifies marginalised communities. But we can only do this with our readers’ support.
So please, help us continue to spread messages of resistance and hope. Even the smallest donation would mean the world to us.
-
Show Comments
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to leave a comment.Join the conversationPlease read our comment moderation policy here.
