Tories facing an election suddenly very sad about the poverty they caused

A crying crocodile
John Shafthauer

With the Tories completely unable to move forwards on Brexit, we could be facing another election. In completely unrelated news, one of the Tories who eagerly voted for austerity has now come out against it.

See ya later, alligators

Heidi Allen MP is on a tour of the country. Her plan is to look at the poor people she helped cause and state:

Oh, well that’s sad, isn’t it.

She also said the word “sob” at one point. And she’s been crying a lot.

In completely unrelated news, she appears to be carrying half an onion with her. She keeps jabbing herself in the eye with it. Maybe she’s trying to wipe away the genuine emotions she’s having?

During a speech in Newcastle, Allen said:

Labour could be in power soon. Maybe they’ll investigate why my party ignored all those UN reports into abuse of disabled people’s human rights? If that happens, I just want it to be very clear that I WAS ONE OF THE GOOD ONES! Look – I’m here – saying that I care about people. I only voted for this nightmare society we’ve created by accident! My finger slipped! I WAS ON KETAMINE!


Some people have suggested Allen may have less than good intentions. As one person noted about Tory MPs:

I can tell they’re lying because they open their mouths.

Featured image via Leigh Bedford – Wikimedia

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  • Show Comments
    1. Tories facing an election suddenly very sad about the poverty they caused
      let’s have a new G.E. in 2019

      will sort out or put a stop to the SCAM U-CREDIT mess the Tory Govt is running now that is creating poverty in working families + killing people off by with holding their money illegally now according to our British courts of law.

      The Tory party SCAM U-CREDIT cost us taxpayer more money than Labour used in all it time in Offices over 10+years on all benefits paid out A FACT!
      The mass amounts of cash ta us taxpayer over spent by Tory D.U.P. MINISTER
      is on just trying to over turn the British courts of laws decision the Tory D.U.P. Minister illegally STOPPED the claimants payment.
      A NEW G.E. in 2019 will see of Tory party removed from power WHY?
      1— Not just the reason of their unjust SCAM U-CREDIT problem,
      the Tory D.W.P. minister wasting our money taxpayer money.
      2– But also Ms May c**** Withdrawal bill that sell out us leave voters
      to the E.U. FOR EVERY and we get No say in the problem but still have to pay
      the E.U. 27 COUNTRY our BRITISH taxpayer cash WHYMs May?
      3–TO ALL Leave voter will we EVER leave in March 2019? NO!
      As the truth is Tory govt in power do not want us to leave E.U. 27 country
      is this not true Tory party members so you will sell out us leave voter
      to get your own tory party way of Not leaving the E.U. EVERY.
      you will betray us leave voter full stop Ms May by way of your C***
      Withdrawal bill on tuesday 29.1.2019 in H.O.Commons.

      This is another reason for a new G.E. in 2019 to stop Tory govt
      keeping us tied in the E.U. against our public wisher
      a new G.E. in 2019 would stop her C*** Withdrawal bill going into law.

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John Shafthauer