Tories facing an election suddenly very sad about the poverty they caused

A crying crocodile
John Shafthauer


With the Tories completely unable to move forwards on Brexit, we could be facing another election. In completely unrelated news, one of the Tories who eagerly voted for austerity has now come out against it.

See ya later, alligators

Heidi Allen MP is on a tour of the country. Her plan is to look at the poor people she helped cause and state:

Oh, well that’s sad, isn’t it.

She also said the word “sob” at one point. And she’s been crying a lot.

In completely unrelated news, she appears to be carrying half an onion with her. She keeps jabbing herself in the eye with it. Maybe she’s trying to wipe away the genuine emotions she’s having?

Related articles

During a speech in Newcastle, Allen said:

Labour could be in power soon. Maybe they’ll investigate why my party ignored all those UN reports into abuse of disabled people’s human rights? If that happens, I just want it to be very clear that I WAS ONE OF THE GOOD ONES! Look – I’m here – saying that I care about people. I only voted for this nightmare society we’ve created by accident! My finger slipped! I WAS ON KETAMINE!

Unbelievable

Some people have suggested Allen may have less than good intentions. As one person noted about Tory MPs:

I can tell they’re lying because they open their mouths.

Featured image via Leigh Bedford – Wikimedia

Get involved

We need your help ...

The coronavirus pandemic is changing our world, fast. And we will do all we can to keep bringing you news and analysis throughout. But we are worried about maintaining enough income to pay our staff and minimal overheads.

Now, more than ever, we need a vibrant, independent media that holds the government to account and calls it out when it puts vested economic interests above human lives. We need a media that shows solidarity with the people most affected by the crisis – and one that can help to build a world based on collaboration and compassion.

We have been fighting against an establishment that is trying to shut us down. And like most independent media, we don’t have the deep pockets of investors to call on to bail us out.

Can you help by chipping in a few pounds each month?

The Canary Support us
  • Show Comments

    1. Tories facing an election suddenly very sad about the poverty they caused
      let’s have a new G.E. in 2019

      will sort out or put a stop to the SCAM U-CREDIT mess the Tory Govt is running now that is creating poverty in working families + killing people off by with holding their money illegally now according to our British courts of law.

      The Tory party SCAM U-CREDIT cost us taxpayer more money than Labour used in all it time in Offices over 10+years on all benefits paid out A FACT!
      The mass amounts of cash ta us taxpayer over spent by Tory D.U.P. MINISTER
      is on just trying to over turn the British courts of laws decision the Tory D.U.P. Minister illegally STOPPED the claimants payment.
      SO SHOULD BE SCRAPED FULL STOP.
      A NEW G.E. in 2019 will see of Tory party removed from power WHY?
      1— Not just the reason of their unjust SCAM U-CREDIT problem,
      the Tory D.W.P. minister wasting our money taxpayer money.
      2– But also Ms May c**** Withdrawal bill that sell out us leave voters
      to the E.U. FOR EVERY and we get No say in the problem but still have to pay
      the E.U. 27 COUNTRY our BRITISH taxpayer cash WHYMs May?
      3–TO ALL Leave voter will we EVER leave in March 2019? NO!
      As the truth is Tory govt in power do not want us to leave E.U. 27 country
      is this not true Tory party members so you will sell out us leave voter
      to get your own tory party way of Not leaving the E.U. EVERY.
      you will betray us leave voter full stop Ms May by way of your C***
      Withdrawal bill on tuesday 29.1.2019 in H.O.Commons.

      This is another reason for a new G.E. in 2019 to stop Tory govt
      keeping us tied in the E.U. against our public wisher
      a new G.E. in 2019 would stop her C*** Withdrawal bill going into law.

      Report comment

    Leave a Reply

    Join the conversation

    Please read our comment moderation policy here.

Related articles