MPs need Brexit delay to spend more time not coming up with a plan

Woman shrugging in front of parliament
Wilson Belshaw

It’s been fifteen years since the UK voted to leave the EU [editor’s note: it’s actually been less than that – it just feels that long]. Scarily, as we still haven’t come up with a workable plan, we may have to do the unthinkable. We may have to delay Brexit to spend more time not coming up with a solution.

How long it gets delayed for is up for debate, but experts predict anywhere between mid-April and the end of time.

Delay

A sensible country would have come up with a Brexit plan before the referendum. A less-than-totally idiotic one would have cobbled together a deal after. Britain (mainly England) has just kind of fucked around for thirty years (or however long it’s actually been).

Off The Perch asked one MP to explain the purpose of the delay:

There aren’t the numbers in parliament to get May’s deal through. There also aren’t the numbers for a second referendum, or a no-deal Brexit. As no one is able to get what they want, most people are up for delaying it on the off chance they get the upper hand. Or – you know – that something else happens which changes the situation.

When asked what such a ‘something’ might be, the MP replied:

A lot of us are hoping climate change speeds up a bit. We could really go for the sky catching fire round about now. That or the dinosaurs returning on that comet they flew away on.

Delay of the land

Theresa May was set to give reasons for a potential delay yesterday, but she delayed the delay-briefing due to entirely foreseen circumstances. She also delayed explaining her delay of the delay-briefing. So at least we’ve finally found out what she’s good at.

Featured image via Maurice – Wikimedia / RobbinHiggins – pxhere

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Wilson Belshaw