Despite having all the personality of an old flannel, Chris Grayling is a noteworthy politician:
Chris Grayling, chaos entity, fucked up the probation services so badly he’s forced a Conservative government to commit to renationalising them.
— Ash Sarkar (@AyoCaesar) May 16, 2019
Following this latest Chris-tastrophe, Grayling has overtaken the financial crash on the list of Great British economic crises.
The list of things to fuck the British economy is currently:
10. The Black Death.
9. Every time the England football team went to extra time on a school night.
8. Privatising everything that wasn’t nailed down (and then privatising everything that was nailed down (and then privatising the nails)).
7. Irn-Bru changing its recipe.
6. The financial crash.
5. Chris Grayling.
4. Declaring an unwinnable war on drugs instead of selling them at corner shops for profit.
3. The Great Depression.
2. The World Wars.
1. The Tory Party.
Too rich to fail
As disastrous as the Tories are in general, Grayling accounts for a good 20% of that. It’s important to note how academics compiled this list though. As one of them explained:
We based our findings on how much these things affected regular people. Rich people actually benefitted from several of them – especially the financial crash. Some profited from the Black Death. Who do you think processed the dead after they got brought out?
Grayling has yet to respond to this latest ‘achievement’. He did try, but he ended up accidentally ordering a second Channel Tunnel at a cost of several hundred billion pounds to the taxpayer.
We need your help ...
The coronavirus pandemic is changing our world, fast. And we will do all we can to keep bringing you news and analysis throughout. But we are worried about maintaining enough income to pay our staff and minimal overheads.
Now, more than ever, we need a vibrant, independent media that holds the government to account and calls it out when it puts vested economic interests above human lives. We need a media that shows solidarity with the people most affected by the crisis – and one that can help to build a world based on collaboration and compassion.
We have been fighting against an establishment that is trying to shut us down. And like most independent media, we don’t have the deep pockets of investors to call on to bail us out.
Can you help by chipping in a few pounds each month?