Dominic Raab proposes ‘tying MPs up’ to get no-deal Brexit through parliament

Dominic Raab with a broken lightbulb over his head
John Shafthauer

The idea of ‘no-deal Brexit’ is even stupider than it is unlikely to get through parliament. This is obviously a problem for hardcore Brexiteers. Thankfully for them, the nugget-headed no-deal enthusiast Dominic Raab has had an idea.

 

Start your day with The Canary News Digest

Fresh and fearless; get excellent independent journalism from The Canary, delivered straight to your inbox every morning.

Restrictions

As Raab explained:

These MPs standing in the way of Brexit are preventing democracy. As such, I’m proposing that all MPs who disagree with me should be locked up in the Tower of London.

When asked if he was “some sort of fucking idiot”, Raab huffed:

I’m obviously very clever; I know all sorts of smart things. For instance, did you know that there’s a sea between England and France?

Raab clearly expected people to be impressed, but the gathered journalists looked at him as if he was some sort of fucking idiot.

“Not a lot of people know that, actually,” he continued. “That’s why everyone says we’re ‘in Europe’ when we’re technically not. You probably aren’t aware of this, but Great Britain is actually an island.”

This went down as well as you’d expect.

“Right, well now I’m proposing we lock all you up, too!” he snapped. “I bet you’ll say nice things about me now you know what you’ll have in store when I become PM!”

Hmm 

In a move that surprised no one except Dominic Raab, the press did not have nice things to say about him. His rank stupidity doesn’t mean he won’t be the next PM, however. If anything, it might even make him more popular with the Tory membership.

Featured image via Wikimedia – Chris McAndrew / pixabay

Get involved

Since you're here ...

We know you don't need a lecture. You wouldn't be here if you didn't care.
Now, more than ever, we need your help to challenge the rightwing press and hold power to account. Please help us survive and thrive.

The Canary Support