MPs fail to agree what to call proposed ‘government of national unity’

A man and a woman arguing over what the government of national unity should be called
John Shafthauer


A lot of ‘sensible’ people have called for a ‘government of national unity’. They claim it would help us solve Brexit – just like the last one helped us win World War II.

Can you see the difference between those two events?

While 99.99% of Britons wanted to win the world war, no such majority exists for Remain or Brexit. In fact, we know people are split roughly 50/50. To make matters worse, the MPs proposing the idea can’t even decide on a name.

Here we go again

No Brexiteers want a government of national unity. They already have one on their issue, as the Johnson administration is Brexit through and through.

This left it to centrist MPs to push for the so-called ‘unity’ government. A secret recording of three MPs caught the following:

Related articles

MP1: So we’re all agreed – we push for a government of national unity?

MP2: Are we really settled on that name?

MP1: Does it matter?

MP3: Well I think it does. I think it should be the government for national unity.

MP2: Oh piss off. It should be the unity government of national unity.

MP1: But that has the word ‘unity’ in it twice!

MP2: Exactly! That’s how people will know how unified we are!

At this point, the unified proponents of a unity government of unified unity all started fist fighting.

Bredictable

After talks broke down, the proponents of the idea eventually settled on the one name they could all agree on. The name of this unity administration will be:

Change UK

Oh no – sorry – it’s now:

Unity UK

And now it’s:

UniChange.org

Featured image via NeedPix

Get involved

We need your help ...

The coronavirus pandemic is changing our world, fast. And we will do all we can to keep bringing you news and analysis throughout. But we are worried about maintaining enough income to pay our staff and minimal overheads.

Now, more than ever, we need a vibrant, independent media that holds the government to account and calls it out when it puts vested economic interests above human lives. We need a media that shows solidarity with the people most affected by the crisis – and one that can help to build a world based on collaboration and compassion.

We have been fighting against an establishment that is trying to shut us down. And like most independent media, we don’t have the deep pockets of investors to call on to bail us out.

Can you help by chipping in a few pounds each month?

The Canary Support us

Related articles