#SwindonsSundaySermon: Starmer’s gonna cut, cut, cut, cut cut (hoo-hoo-hoo)

Look. I know you few remaining Keir Starmer loyalists (think of a fly’s close relationship with a turd) don’t want to talk about their ennobled no-balls, all-cuts leader and the freebie furore.

So the best thing you can try to do is get your own fucking column in some shit Tory rag, like the Daily Mirror, and write a piece on why you are coming round to the idea of Keir Starmer’s latest plans to shackle heavily-pregnant Green voters to lampposts, upside-down outside Israel’s embassy, for retweeting Al Jazeera.

Okay, you’ve got me there. No such plan exists, or at least not the upside-down bit.

That’s what they don’t know

While a feeble attempt at demagoguery from a political opportunist may float the boats of the easily swayed and hard of thinking, it does absolutely sweet Fanny Adams for me.

Just so we can all try and move on from the morally questionable gift hoarding we witnessed from the junket king Starmer, I do think we need an answer as to why Starmer and his family met up with Taylor Swift at the Wembley concert, after the government granted her a blue-light escort to the venue, which is usually reserved for royalty and politicians?

Every Starmer scandal does have a tendency to leave an overwhelmingly bitter taste in the mouth. He was elected as ‘Mr Rules’, yet he has bent the rules to the point of where he ended up the biggest freebie hoarder that parliament has seen over the past five years.

Granted, Ms Swift is a globally recognised artist, despite me not being able to name just one of her hits, and her security requirements are likely to be somewhat different to the average pop star.

But she isn’t royalty, to her credit, and her politics are unknown to me — although her bodyguard does serve for the Israeli terrorist forces.

So why the special treatment for Swift, and why did the Starmer family personally benefit?

Jealousy, you say? Honestly, I would rather stick my head in a Ninja air fryer on 200c for twenty minutes than have to meet Keir Starmer for two minutes.

Make the cuts up as they go

We are rapidly approaching the Labour Party government’s first budget, and while you will get lots of Labour-sympathetic noises from Starmer’s friends in the media, you’ll get absolutely none of that hogwash from me.

Surprisingly, some cabinet members, including Angela Rayner, have told Starver and Thieves that their planned widespread cuts are a fucking stupid idea. Okay, I doubt the deputy leader that used to identify as a socialist used those exact words, but you get my drift.

Another stupid idea was leaked to the Financial Times on Thursday evening.

Disability rights campaigners will be furious to hear Liz Kendall plans to press ahead with the Tories planned £1.3 billion worth of cuts to disability benefit.

Labour’s attempt at running the Department for Work and Pensions is beginning to make the Tories stewardship almost look competent and fair.

Who in their right mind wants to be a greater danger to the poor, disabled and vulnerable than Iain Duncan Smith? You may answer that question with the name Liz Kendall, but I did make a point of saying “who in their right mind”.

If you’re not having an ‘anti-obesity jab’ whacked in your arse you’ll be watching DWP approved job coaches marauding around hospitals, looking to force patients with mental health issues into work.  “Vote Labour for change”, they said.

Can’t stop, won’t stop cutting

We fucking warned you, folks.

What next? Bring out your dead and see if they’re good for 16 hours a week at Home Bargains? What about patients in a coma? Lazy sods could at least ask Deliveroo if they’ve got any hours going spare.

I must point out, DWP boss Kendall, whose department have seen through the cuts to the pensioners Winter Fuel Allowance — in an attempt to plug an apparent £22 billion black hole — made sure the public purse was more than £3,600 lighter, to generously cover her own utility bills over the last three years.

There ain’t no hypocrisy like Labour Party hypocrisy. The double standards are sickening.

Indeed, eleven of Starmer’s self-serving, unpopular cabinet have claimed tens of thousands of pounds in expenses to cover their utility bills, including Angela Rayner and chancellor Reeves, while voting to cut the Winter Fuel Allowance.

It’s like we dozed off in 2010 and woke up in 2010. We are staring down the barrel of the austerity gun, and detestable Labour have pulled the trigger before they have even managed to get their grubby feet under the table.

Got this milk snatcher in their minds

I suppose I should really send my belated birthday wishes to Margaret Thatcher. She would’ve been 99 years old this year, but thankfully she has been gone for the past 13 years.

But her warped ideology has found a new lease of life in Keir Starmer’s Toryfied Labour government under the stewardship of Reeves, Kendall, Streeting, and the preposterous holey bucket of inadequacy, David Lammy.

Just think how proud ‘Maggie’ would’ve been of you, Sir Keir, the next time Baroness Whatsername isn’t free for a private audience in the leaders office. Hold that thought, and don’t forget to make sure the door is locked.

We’ve now experienced more than one hundred days of a Starmer government, one hundred and eight to be exact. Have we gone forwards or backwards? I didn’t think it could possibly be any worse than the decade-plus madness we’ve been through under the Tories. I was wrong.

There are no bold reforms, it’s just more of the same free market fuckwittery that ensures the rich continue to build their personal wealth off of the backs of your hard work.

Britain doesn’t need to deny disabled people of a pitiful social security system, nor does it need to take money away from pensioners that have no idea how to navigate their way around a complex, bureaucratic DWP. These are Labour’s ideological choices, not political necessities.

Cut it off, cut it off (hoo-hoo-hoo)

Tim Bale, professor of politics at Queen Mary University of London, said to Al Jazeera:

It’s easily the worst start to a government’s time in office in living memory – and it wasn’t as if Labour were that popular anyway.

I’m old enough to remember the general election of 2017, back when the Labour Party and its fully-costed policies were popular with the electorate. But the elite were never going to allow us a prime minister that unashamedly positioned the needs of the people ahead of the greed of the rich and powerful.

How much worse can it get for this horrendous betrayal of a Labour government before it even begins to get any better? My best guess is it won’t be any time soon.

Let the cuts begin.

Again.

Featured image via Rachael Swindon