After a lifetime of diplomacy and respectfully keeping his opinions to himself, Tony Blair has finally spoken his mind. In uncharacteristically colourful terms, he made it crystal clear that he’s no fan of current Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn.
“He’s a massive arsehole”, Blair told Off The Perch, as we scuttled alongside him through the arrivals lounge at Gatwick. “Just look what he’s done to the party. It’s now full of students and techno DJs. Nurses and binmen are going to constituency meetings and suggesting policy ideas for conference. It’s certainly not the party I joined. We were all lawyers.”
If that veggie prat has his way, it’s going to be really hard for people who invested in PFIs to keep the repayments rolling in. I don’t know what’s going to happen to some of our great outsourcing companies. And the fucking hippy will probably try to get BAE Systems making windmills instead of Eurofighters.
The only chance we’ve got to save all that is to get the party back in the hands of people who know what they’re doing. Right now it’s no place for genuinely popular politicians like Liz Kendall or Wes Streeting. Take John Mann for example – constantly making good, constructive, points but the membership treat him like an idiot. We could drop David Miliband back into a safe seat and the poor guy would probably get deselected by some crowd of Trots led by Owen Jones.
Hate him. I fucking hate him. He’s so bastard popular, with his Glastonbury and his Seven Nation fucking Army chant. And I just know he’s going to get in and make a bollocks of everything I did. I shitting… I hate… I…
Tired and emotional
At this point, Blair’s entourage commandeered a side room and led him in for a lie-down. After the door had closed, a member of the security team told us: “It’s distressing, obviously, to see him in this condition. You can put in your piece that he’s ‘tired and emotional’ after a draining trip to Italy. Mr Blair tried to be all chummy and keep up but those far-right boys can really put it away. Might be best if you leave out some of the Corbyn stuff though cos Mr Blair likes to try and look statesmanlike. It’s good for business. Yeah, don’t print that either.”
Oggi al Viminale con l’ex premier britannico Tony Blair per parlare di immigrazione, Brexit e politiche energetiche. Ho proposto una conferenza su sviluppo e investimenti per l'Africa, incontro cordiale e positivo, abbiamo reciprocamente apprezzato l’approccio concreto. pic.twitter.com/dJNvHZvJK2
— Matteo Salvini (@matteosalvinimi) September 4, 2018
– Join The Canary, so we can keep holding the powerful to account.
Featured image via Flickr – Chatham House (altered)
We need your help to keep speaking the truth
Every story that you have come to us with; each injustice you have asked us to investigate; every campaign we have fought; each of your unheard voices we amplified; we do this for you. We are making a difference on your behalf.
Our fight is your fight. You’ve supported our collective struggle every time you gave us a like; and every time you shared our work across social media. Now we need you to support us with a monthly donation.
We have published nearly 2,000 articles and over 50 films in 2021. And we want to do this and more in 2022 but we don’t have enough money to go on at this pace. So, if you value our work and want us to continue then please join us and be part of The Canary family.
In return, you get:
* Advert free reading experience
* Quarterly group video call with the Editor-in-Chief
* Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
* 20% discount in our shop
Almost all of our spending goes to the people who make The Canary’s content. So your contribution directly supports our writers and enables us to continue to do what we do: speaking truth, powered by you. We have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence our vital opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right-wing mainstream media.
With your help we can continue:
* Holding political and state power to account
* Advocating for the people the system marginalises
* Being a media outlet that upholds the highest standards
* Campaigning on the issues others won’t
* Putting your lives central to everything we do
We are a drop of truth in an ocean of deceit. But we can’t do this without your support. So please, can you help us continue the fight?