Just when you thought BPop Live couldn’t get any more awesome

Ed Sykes

Some of the biggest names in the music industry are preparing to make sweet love to your ears on 19 June as part of Leave.EU’s much-awaited concert: BPop Live. And now, Off the Perch can proudly reveal some of the giants who will be gracing the stage, along with news of an exciting rival event organised by the Remain camp.

BPop Live’s public lineup

The concert’s current headliners will be three quarters of Bucks Fizz – the winners of the 1981 Eurovision Song Contest – along with one of the Drifters, an Elvis impersonator and household name Alexander O’Neal – the American soul artist who’s appeared on Celebrity Big Brother, Weakest Link and Wife Swap. For just £23 (plus booking fee), you can see these amazing entertainers share the stage with UKIP’s Nigel Farage and not-at-all-disgraced Tory MP Liam Fox!

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But that’s not all!

A little Brexit birdie has told Off the Perch that there are a number of other artists waiting in the wings, and we can now reveal just a few of the names that will be taking BPop Live by storm later this month.

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EXCLUSIVE: The new lineup of BPop Live

BPop Live has been “endorsed” by Leave.EU, which is a pro-Brexit group co-founded by Arron Banks – a millionaire businessman and UKIP’s biggest donor. Banks has previously made it clear that he would love to privatise the NHS.

Leave.EU’s apparently right-wing agenda has already put off original BPop Live stars like Britain’s Got Talent judge Alesha Dixon, 5ive, East 17, and Sister Sledge.

But those who’ve bought tickets already needn’t worry! An illustrious list of music legends is preparing to fill the vacuum.

The new line-up, shared exclusively with Off the Perch, is as follows:

  • Rick Astley – national treasure and creator of pop music standard “Never Gonna Give You Up“.
  • Steps – the people who taught a whole generation to count from 5 to 8.
  • S Club 7 – international pioneers of embarrassing beachside choreography.
  • Bombalurina – the lovechild of Timmy Mallet and Andrew Lloyd Webber. Best known for the iconic “Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini”.
  • Black Lace – the creators of “Agadoo” – a timeless classic which needs no introduction.
  • Orville the Duck, minus Keith Harris.
  • The Fast Food Rockers – prospective poet laureates who once penned the chorus: “McDonald’s, McDonald’s, Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Pizza Hut”.
  • And a special video appearance from a coalition of BBC stars who’ve bravely broken their pledge of political impartiality. The team’s leading members are the Teletubbies, Bob the Builder, and Mr Blobby (the best mate of licenced helicopter pilot and Deal or No Deal presenter Noel Edmonds, for those too young to remember).

BPop Live now has competition!

The unending wealth of talent which will be on display at Bpop Live hasn’t convinced everyone that leaving the EU is a good idea. But it has convinced some Remainers that a rival concert would be a brilliant idea.

One Remain camp insider recently reminded Off the Perch that:

We probably wouldn’t have been blessed with the likes of Agadoo, Bombalurina, and Fast Food Rockers had it not been for the inspiration these musical pioneers got from their counterparts over in Europe.

The anonymous campaigner hinted that David Cameron’s Remain team is now considering putting on its own “Epop Live”. This concert, he said, would bring together the cream of European music.

Off the Perch can now reveal some of the performers that Cameron and co have lined up for this extravaganza:

  • The Vengaboys – the Dutch sensation that brought us inspired lyrics like: “Boom boom boom boom, I want you in my room”.
  • The Cheeky Girls – Romania’s biggest export and the well-known feminist campaigners who once rallied: “Come and smile. Don’t be shy. Touch my bum. This is life”.
  • Los del Rio – the Spanish creators of “Macarena“, a song whose dance moves many know off by heart but whose lyrics are still an absolute mystery.
  • Aqua – the Danish geniuses who managed to stick the phrase “hanky panky” into a song.
  • Eiffel 65 – the Italian group whose lyrics mostly consisted of the word “dabba“.

Whichever concert citizens attend, such musical talent has rarely shared the same stage in Britain. So whether it’s Elvis impersonators or a good dose of Europop that tickle your fancy, one thing is for sure – the EU referendum is finally getting interesting!

Featured image via Leave.EU/Twitter

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