• Disrupting Power Since 2015
  • Donate
  • Login
Saturday, May 10, 2025
  • Login
  • Register
Canary
MEDIA THAT DISRUPTS
  • News
    • UK
    • Global
    • Analysis
    • Trending
  • Editorial
  • Features
    • Features
    • Environment
    • Lifestyle
    • Health
    • Money
    • Science
    • Business
    • Tech
    • Travel
    • Sport & Gaming
  • Media
    • Video
    • Cartoons
  • Opinion
No Result
View All Result
MANAGE SUBSCRIPTION
SUPPORT
  • News
    • UK
    • Global
    • Analysis
    • Trending
  • Editorial
  • Features
    • Features
    • Environment
    • Lifestyle
    • Health
    • Money
    • Science
    • Business
    • Tech
    • Travel
    • Sport & Gaming
  • Media
    • Video
    • Cartoons
  • Opinion
No Result
View All Result
Canary
No Result
View All Result

Jeremy Hunt to run for PM in a parallel dimension where he isn’t universally reviled

John Shafthauer by John Shafthauer
18 December 2017
in UK
Reading Time: 2 mins read
170 2
A A
0
Home UK
319
SHARES
2.5k
VIEWS
Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

When people hear the name Jeremy Hunt, they don’t immediately think ‘future Prime Minister’. Primarily because they think:

Treacherous, goblin-faced wanker.

Or:

Waste of a haircut.

Or:

Total fucking penis.

After they’ve finished thinking through such expletives, however, people still don’t tend to think ‘future Prime Minister’.

And why would they? How could it even come to pass?

This is a man whose lack of popularity is only eclipsed by his lack of any positive personality traits. And yet he still seems to be going for it, according to recent reports.

But all is not as it seems.

Out of this world

There are two types of people in this universe:

  1. People who think Jeremy Hunt should be shot into the sun.
  2. Jeremy Hunt himself.

There may be dimensions in which he’s less reviled, though. And ever since the DUP discovered the magic money tree, there’s been cash going spare to throw science at such nonsense.

PM material

Off The Perch was alerted to Hunt’s extra-planar bid for power by alternative-dimension Brian Blessed:

Things were going quite well in our dimension after Supreme Leader Miliband reversed climate change. The improvement to the planet’s environment made it more attractive to aliens, though, and we were promptly invaded by some real shits.

The aliens don’t like managing the day-to-day stuff, so they needed someone who was happy to lord it up over his fellow human beings – a real mendacious arsehole who was happy to oversee a cruel system that chewed people up and spat them back out again.

Turned out this Hunt fellow has some experience of that, and so he was hired.

Odds

You may think all this sounds a bit unrealistic.

Still, though, you’ve got to admit that it’s at least ten times more plausible than Jeremy Hunt becoming the PM of this reality.

Get Involved!

– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.

Featured image via Flickr

Share128Tweet80
Previous Post

A viral message from an A&E consultant needs to be shared even wider

Next Post

A British company is launching a ‘bleeding’ meatless burger to help save the environment

Next Post
meatless burger

A British company is launching a ‘bleeding’ meatless burger to help save the environment

Ebetheresa May Scrooge

'A Brexmas Carol' Part One: Ebetheresa Scrooge, a squeezing, wrenching, grasping, covetous old sinner!

Daily Fail Daily Mail

The Daily Mail was savaged in parliament. Its response was pathetic. [VIDEO]

Gauke Marr Christmas

All I want for Christmas is one Tory MP who’ll tell the truth about how they’ve screwed over disabled people [OPINION]

birds

Residents of a wealthy Bristol district have banned birds from trees

Protesters with Palestine flags and banners reading "Stop arming Israel" stand next to General Dynamics' sign.
News

Campaigners challenge Hastings Council over its complicity with Israel’s genocide in Gaza

by The Canary
9 May 2025
Women's cancers get 20% less funding than male cancers, despite much worse survival rates
News

Women’s cancers get 20% less funding than male cancers, despite much worse survival rates

by The Canary
9 May 2025
Labour 'seems intent on wielding scissors' to NHS as scale of budget shortfall revealed as £7bn this year
Analysis

Labour ‘seems intent on wielding scissors’ to NHS as scale of budget shortfall revealed

by Ed Sykes
9 May 2025
After the local elections, why don't politicians listen?
Opinion

After the local elections, why are politicians still not listening?

by Jamie Driscoll
9 May 2025
Labour MP Clive Lewis calls out worrying shadiness of US-UK tariff deal
Analysis

Labour MP Clive Lewis calls out worrying shadiness of US-UK tariff deal

by Ed Sykes
9 May 2025
  • Contact
  • About & FAQ
  • Get our Daily News Email
  • Privacy Policy
  • Cookie Policy

The Canary
PO Box 71199
LONDON
SE20 9EX

Canary Media Ltd – registered in England. Company registration number 09788095.

For guest posting, contact [email protected]

For other enquiries, contact: [email protected]

The Canary is owned and run by independent journalists and volunteers, NOT offshore billionaires.

You can write for us, or support us by making a regular or one-off donation.

© Canary Media Ltd 2024, all rights reserved | Website by Monster | Hosted by Krystal | Privacy Settings

Welcome Back!

Login to your account below

Forgotten Password? Sign Up

Create New Account!

Fill the forms below to register

All fields are required. Log In

Retrieve your password

Please enter your username or email address to reset your password.

Log In
No Result
View All Result
  • News
    • UK
    • Global
    • Analysis
    • Trending
  • Editorial
  • Features
    • Features
    • Environment
    • Lifestyle
    • Health
    • Money
    • Science
    • Business
    • Tech
    • Travel
    • Sport & Gaming
  • Media
    • Video
    • Cartoons
  • Opinion

© 2023 Canary - Worker's co-op.

Before you go, have you seen...?

Protesters with Palestine flags and banners reading "Stop arming Israel" stand next to General Dynamics' sign.
News
The Canary

Campaigners challenge Hastings Council over its complicity with Israel’s genocide in Gaza

Women's cancers get 20% less funding than male cancers, despite much worse survival rates
News
The Canary

Women’s cancers get 20% less funding than male cancers, despite much worse survival rates

Labour 'seems intent on wielding scissors' to NHS as scale of budget shortfall revealed as £7bn this year
Analysis
Ed Sykes

Labour ‘seems intent on wielding scissors’ to NHS as scale of budget shortfall revealed

After the local elections, why don't politicians listen?
Opinion
Jamie Driscoll

After the local elections, why are politicians still not listening?

ADVERTISEMENT
Lifestyle
Nathan Spears

Why More People Are Seeking Legal Advice When Separating

Travel
Nathan Spears

Hungary Vignette Adventures: Discovering Hidden Gems by Car

How Social Media Affects the Mental Health of Young Adults Today
Tech
The Canary

How Social Media Affects the Mental Health of Young Adults Today