Calling out Tory bullsh*t is ‘abuse’, claim Tory bullsh*tters

Calling out Tory bullsh_t is ‘abuse’, claim Tory bullshitters
John Shafthauer

Last week, the tabloids openly and aggressively suggested that Jeremy Corbyn collaborated with the Soviet Union. When a Tory MP repeated these claims, the Labour leader threatened to sue him for libel.

And you should know that what Corbyn did is everything wrong with modern politics.

https://twitter.com/hourlyterrier/status/967752662052679680

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You can’t even lie through your teeth any more

Off The Perch caught up with the Tory minister of Truth to find out what the craic is:

This is absolutely outrageous. If we’re not allowed to slander our rivals with untruths and falsehoods, then how the hell are we supposed to hold our own?

I must say, this modern thing of idolising the truth puts us at a terrible disadvantage. How will anyone trust us with the economy if we’re open about what a total bollocks we’ve made of it? And you have to ask yourself, what’s next?

Will we be punished for binning our manifesto as soon as we’re elected? Will the prime minister be forced to tell the truth in parliament for fear of being ridiculed by uppity plebs? And will Iain Duncan Smith be made to remove the human skin suit he wears and reveal the true fiend beneath?

Frightening times. It reminds me of North Korea. Because the people there are always saying mean things about the government too.

Pants on fire

Other people have suggested that maybe – just maybe – libel isn’t a legitimate political practice. Although I wouldn’t listen to the people who say that. They’re all dog wankers from what I’ve heard.

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Featured image via Wikimedia – UK Home Office (image was altered) / Wikimedia – Chris McAndrew (image was altered)

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John Shafthauer