Facebook shares plummet following suggestion its business model is ‘unsustainable/evil’

Mark Zuckerberg saying: "Helping advertisers target people isn’t the only way we make money. We also sell Facebook brand mouse mats."
John Shafthauer

Facebook was allegedly aware of some very dodgy stuff going on with its users’ information. Shining a light on this stuff is bad news for Facebook, as using personal information for dodgy stuff has been a big earner for them.

Privacy

Off The Perch caught up with Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg to find out more:

Obviously it will be difficult to regain people’s trust. We know exactly what people like, though, and we’ve got some great targeted ads that we just know you’re going to love.

Zuckerberg then handed me a Cadbury’s Double Decker – a strange coincidence as it was my grandfather’s favourite chocolate bar, and it was the anniversary of his death.

“How did you know?” I asked, as the tears began to well.

“Shh,” Zuckerberg said, as he put a finger on my lips and pulled me into a hug.

“LIKE,” I whispered in response.

Waking up

I later realised that Zuckerberg had used my personal information to elicit a predictable response from me.

This is the unique selling point that Facebook has for advertisers, though. As such, it will be interesting to see if it can carry on earning the big bucks after it stops treating its users like cattle.

If it stops treating them like cattle, obviously.

Get Involved!

– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook (ah go on) and Twitter.

Featured image via Brian Solis – Flickr

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John Shafthauer