Media accuses the public of treachery for questioning Boris Johnson’s lies

Boris Johnson surrounded by people with pitchforks
Support us and go ad-free

Depending on who you listen to, Jeremy Corbyn said that either:

  1. We shouldn’t rush ahead of the evidence with the Skripal poisoning.
  2. We should lay down and expose our soft bellies to our new Soviet overlords – Hail Stalin!

One reason not to rush ahead of the evidence is that said ‘evidence’ might be wrong. Especially when said evidence is literally made up, as was the case with Boris Johnson’s claim that Porton Down scientists told him:

It was Russia alright. You could tell by the lingering scent of vodka and anti-Western sentiment.

When actually what they’d said was:

Why are you cackling maniacally and gleefully rubbing your hands together like that?

And obviously this lie is a big problem.

Because even now, some people are refusing to believe it.

Read on...

Support us and go ad-free


Of course, there’s a very good chance that Russia did do the poisoning. But just saying that isn’t enough.


It’s a bit like when Big Brother insisted that people believe 2+2=5 in 1984. Except actually, this sum is more:

2 + this number we’re not actually disclosing but can assure you is correct = 579

And this is perfectly fine.

It isn’t the job of the media to question things. And why shouldn’t people trust this benevolent alliance of journalists and politicians? They steered us right on the invasion of Iraq and austerity, after all, so why doubt?

Order 66

Since the 1970s, every British journalist has been fitted with a microchip that activates whenever there’s a sniff of war. Once triggered, the artificial anti-intelligence makes otherwise sensible journalists abandon all rational thought and start banging the nearest war drum.

They are of course completely unaware of this defect in their brains – which is why they’re all so thoroughly shocked when no one seems to trust them.

Get Involved!

– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.

Featured image via Think London – Wikimedia (image was altered) / Robert Couse-Baker – Wikimedia (image was altered)

Support us and go ad-free

We need your help to keep speaking the truth

Every story that you have come to us with; each injustice you have asked us to investigate; every campaign we have fought; each of your unheard voices we amplified; we do this for you. We are making a difference on your behalf.

Our fight is your fight. You’ve supported our collective struggle every time you gave us a like; and every time you shared our work across social media. Now we need you to support us with a monthly donation.

We have published nearly 2,000 articles and over 50 films in 2021. And we want to do this and more in 2022 but we don’t have enough money to go on at this pace. So, if you value our work and want us to continue then please join us and be part of The Canary family.

In return, you get:

* Advert free reading experience
* Quarterly group video call with the Editor-in-Chief
* Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
* 20% discount in our shop

Almost all of our spending goes to the people who make The Canary’s content. So your contribution directly supports our writers and enables us to continue to do what we do: speaking truth, powered by you. We have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence our vital opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right-wing mainstream media.

With your help we can continue:

* Holding political and state power to account
* Advocating for the people the system marginalises
* Being a media outlet that upholds the highest standards
* Campaigning on the issues others won’t
* Putting your lives central to everything we do

We are a drop of truth in an ocean of deceit. But we can’t do this without your support. So please, can you help us continue the fight?

The Canary Support us

Comments are closed