So far, the Irish border issue seems to be incompatible with leaving the customs union. That hasn’t stopped the Brexiteers from making some suggestions though. Some of which are merely terrible. Others suggest these people are abusing solvents.
Jacob Rees-Mogg has often been described as a bit of an 18th-century gentleman. But he would likely have seemed backwards even then. And he’s really best thought of as a posh version of the cartoon weasels from Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
His ‘ideas’ for the Irish border have included:
- Saying there’s no issue and hoping that’s true.
- Fixing it with technology that doesn’t exist (and likely never will if the government’s track record is anything to go by).
- Questioning how important peace in Northern Ireland actually is.
The latest suggestions include:
- Capturing a leprechaun and stealing its magic.
- Building a wall between the two countries and having Mexico pay for it.
- Cautionary strikes against Mrs Brown’s Boys.
- Seeing if we can enlist freelance big-picture-thinker Kanye West to ‘figure this all out’.
- SIMPLY DOING IT ANYWAY! WHO ARE THESE OIKS TO STAND IN THE WAY OF OUR GLORIOUS BREXIT?
Some people say the Brexiteers are dragging us back to the past. That’s simply not true. It’s more like they’re dragging us into a parallel dimension where up is down and all problems can be solved with wishful-fucking-thinking.
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