Rees-Mogg suggests ‘stealing a leprechaun’s magic’ to solve Irish border issue

Jacob Rees-Mogg saying: "I said there'd be a practical solution" and then sniggering in Latin
Wilson Belshaw

So far, the Irish border issue seems to be incompatible with leaving the customs union. That hasn’t stopped the Brexiteers from making some suggestions though. Some of which are merely terrible. Others suggest these people are abusing solvents.

Pip pip

Jacob Rees-Mogg has often been described as a bit of an 18th-century gentleman. But he would likely have seemed backwards even then. And he’s really best thought of as a posh version of the cartoon weasels from Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

His ‘ideas’ for the Irish border have included:

  • Saying there’s no issue and hoping that’s true.
  • Fixing it with technology that doesn’t exist (and likely never will if the government’s track record is anything to go by).
  • Questioning how important peace in Northern Ireland actually is.

The latest suggestions include:

  • Capturing a leprechaun and stealing its magic.
  • Building a wall between the two countries and having Mexico pay for it.
  • Cautionary strikes against Mrs Brown’s Boys.
  • Seeing if we can enlist freelance big-picture-thinker Kanye West to ‘figure this all out’.
  • SIMPLY DOING IT ANYWAY! WHO ARE THESE OIKS TO STAND IN THE WAY OF OUR GLORIOUS BREXIT?

Dragged 

Some people say the Brexiteers are dragging us back to the past. That’s simply not true. It’s more like they’re dragging us into a parallel dimension where up is down and all problems can be solved with wishful-fucking-thinking.

Get Involved!

– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.

– Join The Canary, so we can keep holding the powerful to account.

Featured image via LadyGeekTV – Wikimedia

We need your help ...

The coronavirus pandemic is changing our world, fast. And we will do all we can to keep bringing you news and analysis throughout. But we are worried about maintaining enough income to pay our staff and minimal overheads.

Now, more than ever, we need a vibrant, independent media that holds the government to account and calls it out when it puts vested economic interests above human lives. We need a media that shows solidarity with the people most affected by the crisis – and one that can help to build a world based on collaboration and compassion.

We have been fighting against an establishment that is trying to shut us down. And like most independent media, we don’t have the deep pockets of investors to call on to bail us out.

Can you help by chipping in a few pounds each month?

The Canary Support us

Comments are closed

Wilson Belshaw