Trump claims London is entirely overrun by ‘droogs’

President Trump with an orange for a head saying: "I thought A Clockwork Orange was about my timekeeping'
John Shafthauer

Over the past few years, the Tories have been slashing police numbers, closing youth programmes, and annihilating social prosperity. As such, it’s obvious what caused the recent surge in knife crime: it’s non-white people who’ve lived here for generations.

At least that’s the assertion of the bigoted right, anyway. And chief among them is Donald Trump.

Ultra-violence

Trump told his loyal followers:

Take London, for example. Big, big problems. Used to be such a beautiful place: now it’s overrun by makeup wearing thugs.

They have this documentary called ‘A Clockwork Orange’. I said to my staff, ‘I can’t believe this is real!’ They gave me that look that says I just dropped smarts bigly.

There are no Muslims in the documentary, actually. But I looked at it and I said, ‘I think this is the Muslims’. Not everyone is brave enough to say what they think without evidence, but I am!

Trump then explained how British children are being indoctrinated in Satanism at “Hogwarts School of Jihadism”.

Surge

Towards the end of his speech, someone asked Trump what he thought about gun crime in America being wildly higher than knife crime in the UK. He replied:

Really? We’re that far ahead?

This led to several hours of Trump and his supporters chanting:

WE’RE NUMBER ONE!

WE’RE NUMBER ONE!

WE’RE NUMBER ONE!

WE’RE NUMBER ONE!

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Featured image via US Air Force / DonkeyHotey – Flickr

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John Shafthauer