To call Universal Credit a total disaster would be an insult to total disasters everywhere, but only because it hasn’t rolled out enough to qualify yet. It has notably been disastrous for those afflicted by it, and would be a full-on cluster-fuck if it went universal.
Despite the Department for Work and Pensions’ (DWP) failings at rolling out this failure, Trading Standards has seen enough. And that’s why it’s insisting the DWP changes the name.
Can’t even get the name right
Trading Standards took issue with both parts of the ‘Universal Credit’ name. It explained:
UNIVERSAL: The problem with saying this scheme is universal is that it isn’t. In reality, Universal Credit is rarer than a Tory with a conscience. Well – maybe not that rare. They did all vote for Universal Credit, after all.
CREDIT: The problem with implying people will be credited is that far too often they’re not. Apparently, the purpose was to make the entire system fairer and more balanced. In reality, the only thing it’s stabilising is the number of sick and disabled who can’t afford to live. The problem is it’s increasing such injustices rather than decreasing them.
As such, we feel the scheme should henceforth be named ‘Scarce Merit’ – a name that neatly sums up its total lack of validity, purpose, or success.
Of course, there are still those who defend Universal Credit. His name is Iain Duncan Smith, and he told us:
Having no money is the quickest way out of poverty for people who can’t work. Trust me.
Duncan Smith then proceeded to eat a beetle that crawled out of his suit – licking at it with his long, forked tongue.
“You can’t be poor if you’re dead,” he added cheerfully.
In response, we flicked holy water at him until he left the building.
– Join The Canary, so we can keep holding the powerful to account.
We need your help to keep speaking the truth
Every story that you have come to us with; each injustice you have asked us to investigate; every campaign we have fought; each of your unheard voices we amplified; we do this for you. We are making a difference on your behalf.
Our fight is your fight. You’ve supported our collective struggle every time you gave us a like; and every time you shared our work across social media. Now we need you to support us with a monthly donation.
We have published nearly 2,000 articles and over 50 films in 2021. And we want to do this and more in 2022 but we don’t have enough money to go on at this pace. So, if you value our work and want us to continue then please join us and be part of The Canary family.
In return, you get:
* Advert free reading experience
* Quarterly group video call with the Editor-in-Chief
* Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
* 20% discount in our shop
Almost all of our spending goes to the people who make The Canary’s content. So your contribution directly supports our writers and enables us to continue to do what we do: speaking truth, powered by you. We have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence our vital opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right-wing mainstream media.
With your help we can continue:
* Holding political and state power to account
* Advocating for the people the system marginalises
* Being a media outlet that upholds the highest standards
* Campaigning on the issues others won’t
* Putting your lives central to everything we do
We are a drop of truth in an ocean of deceit. But we can’t do this without your support. So please, can you help us continue the fight?