Cabinet split over exactly how sh*t no-deal Brexit will be
The cabinet is split on no-deal Brexit. Some think it will spell the end of humanity as we know it; others believe a plucky cadre of millionaires will escape the fallout and harness the mutants who survive as serfs.
No one is saying it will have obvious or immediate benefits anymore.
Debate
The leader of the anti-no-deal Tories said:
No deal will be incredibly bad for the poor people in Britain, and that isn’t right. We shouldn’t be damning these people in one fell swoop; we should be systematically making their lives worse by driving down wages and opportunities.
The leader of the pro-no-deal Brexiteers countered:
Let them eat rats!
When asked to expand on this point, he said:
Read on...
Support us and go ad-freeLook, if people haven’t had the sense to move their money offshore, I don’t know what to tell them. We moved our wealth out of the country pretty much immediately – did people think we were giving our money a holiday or something?
Jacob Rees-Mogg added:
Let’s not forget that everyone’s favourite pop act Busted travelled to the year 3000. They said not much had changed, but we all lived underwater, and someone’s great-great-great-granddaughter was ‘pretty fine’.
If that doesn’t convince you Brexit will work out in the end, I don’t know what will.
Backlash
Rees-Mogg received criticism for his defence. Largely from Brexiteers, who said it was “too believable”.
Apparently it isn’t a proper Brexit argument if it sounds like it could almost make sense.
Get Involved!
– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.
– Join The Canary, so we can keep holding the powerful to account.
Featured image via Pixabay [IMAGE WAS ALTERED]
Support us and go ad-freeWe know everyone is suffering under the Tories - but the Canary is a vital weapon in our fight back, and we need your support
The Canary Workers’ Co-op knows life is hard. The Tories are waging a class war against us we’re all having to fight. But like trade unions and community organising, truly independent working-class media is a vital weapon in our armoury.
The Canary doesn’t have the budget of the corporate media. In fact, our income is over 1,000 times less than the Guardian’s. What we do have is a radical agenda that disrupts power and amplifies marginalised communities. But we can only do this with our readers’ support.
So please, help us continue to spread messages of resistance and hope. Even the smallest donation would mean the world to us.
