Cabinet split over exactly how sh*t no-deal Brexit will be

People arguing. One says: "It won't be as bad as WWII!" The other says: "That isn't a reason to do it!"
Wilson Belshaw

The cabinet is split on no-deal Brexit. Some think it will spell the end of humanity as we know it; others believe a plucky cadre of millionaires will escape the fallout and harness the mutants who survive as serfs.

No one is saying it will have obvious or immediate benefits anymore.

Debate 

The leader of the anti-no-deal Tories said:

No deal will be incredibly bad for the poor people in Britain, and that isn’t right. We shouldn’t be damning these people in one fell swoop; we should be systematically making their lives worse by driving down wages and opportunities.

The leader of the pro-no-deal Brexiteers countered:

Let them eat rats!

When asked to expand on this point, he said:

Look, if people haven’t had the sense to move their money offshore, I don’t know what to tell them. We moved our wealth out of the country pretty much immediately – did people think we were giving our money a holiday or something?

Jacob Rees-Mogg added:

Let’s not forget that everyone’s favourite pop act Busted travelled to the year 3000. They said not much had changed, but we all lived underwater, and someone’s great-great-great-granddaughter was ‘pretty fine’.

If that doesn’t convince you Brexit will work out in the end, I don’t know what will.

Backlash

Rees-Mogg received criticism for his defence. Largely from Brexiteers, who said it was “too believable”.

Apparently it isn’t a proper Brexit argument if it sounds like it could almost make sense.

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Featured image via Pixabay [IMAGE WAS ALTERED]

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Wilson Belshaw