Tories announce new plan to tackle poverty

Theresa May saying "Poverty? What poverty?"

Yet another UN report has criticised austerity in the UK. This report said that Tory ministers are in denial about the problem. The Tory ministers in question responded by saying:

Poverty? What poverty?

Marr-velous

Andrew Marr interviewed Kwasi Kwarteng about the issue, and he – you guessed it – denied the problem. Marr didn’t interrogate further, as he needed more time to talk over Shami Chakrabarti:

Read on...

When journalists later asked Theresa May, she repeated the party line:

Poverty? What poverty?

In response, someone shouted:

It’s behind you! Behind you! BE-FUCKING-HIND YOU!

May didn’t fall for it, though. Tory politics have been a pantomime for decades, so she knows how it works.

Unseen and unheard

Some Tories are worried that simply ignoring poverty might not be enough. As such, they’ve proposed:

  • Draping a big tarpaulin over the North.
  • Setting up fake foodbanks with inescapable labyrinths inside them.
  • Instructing the media to never give a proper platform to people affected by austerity.

As you may have noticed, the Tories are well along the way with that third option. Obviously, you might see a poor person interviewed every so often when one of their loved ones is austerity’d to death, but that’s just for colour. The majority of news is driven by well-off types who think of poor people as zoo animals we need to manage better.

That’s why the Tories get away with:

Poverty? What poverty?

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Featured image via Fot. P. Tracz Kancelaria Premiera – Wikimedia (IMAGE WAS ALTERED)

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