Tories announce new plan to tackle poverty

Theresa May saying "Poverty? What poverty?"
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Yet another UN report has criticised austerity in the UK. This report said that Tory ministers are in denial about the problem. The Tory ministers in question responded by saying:

Poverty? What poverty?

Marr-velous

Andrew Marr interviewed Kwasi Kwarteng about the issue, and he – you guessed it – denied the problem. Marr didn’t interrogate further, as he needed more time to talk over Shami Chakrabarti:

Read on...

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When journalists later asked Theresa May, she repeated the party line:

Poverty? What poverty?

In response, someone shouted:

It’s behind you! Behind you! BE-FUCKING-HIND YOU!

May didn’t fall for it, though. Tory politics have been a pantomime for decades, so she knows how it works.

Unseen and unheard

Some Tories are worried that simply ignoring poverty might not be enough. As such, they’ve proposed:

  • Draping a big tarpaulin over the North.
  • Setting up fake foodbanks with inescapable labyrinths inside them.
  • Instructing the media to never give a proper platform to people affected by austerity.

As you may have noticed, the Tories are well along the way with that third option. Obviously, you might see a poor person interviewed every so often when one of their loved ones is austerity’d to death, but that’s just for colour. The majority of news is driven by well-off types who think of poor people as zoo animals we need to manage better.

That’s why the Tories get away with:

Poverty? What poverty?

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Featured image via Fot. P. Tracz Kancelaria Premiera – Wikimedia (IMAGE WAS ALTERED)

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