Man ‘eggs’ Jeremy Corbyn with his fist

Jeremy Corbyn was egged on 3 March. Or was he?

Understand that the incident with Jeremy Corbyn today is a little more serious than originally reported. No egg was thrown but a man is alleged to have hit Corbyn on the head, while holding an egg in his fist.

— Jessica Elgot (@jessicaelgot) March 3, 2019

So what came first in the headlines – the punch or the egg?

Ah.

Hard boiled

To be fair to the media, all is not as it seems. A criminal lawyer egg-splained the following to Off The Perch:

Not a lot of people know this, but any crime committed while holding an egg will automatically be downgraded to an ‘egging’. It’s one of those funny, old antiquated laws that few people know about. Tony Blair used it to get away with his illegal ‘egging’ of Iraq; that’s why he carries that egg around with him.

Since revealing this, a wave of ‘egging’ has broken out over the country. There are reports of bank ‘eggings’, grievous bodily ‘egging’, and multiple people being first degree egged.

Egg on their face?

A few celebrities and Tories seemed pleased about the assault:

We can at least expect the media to be horrified about the ‘egger’ and his social media supporters. Oh no – wait – the media is busy. Some anonymous person who supports Corbyn on Facebook said Mike Gapes looks like a haemorrhoid.

Shame they weren’t holding an egg when they said that, or they could have got away with it.

Featured image via Chatham House – Wikimedia

In-story image via Shealah Craighead – The White House