The Donald Trump guide to surviving coronavirus
US president Donald Trump and his wife Melania have tested positive for coronavirus (Covid-19.) So we at The Canary decided to combine all his best insights into the deadly virus.
Tonight, @FLOTUS and I tested positive for COVID-19. We will begin our quarantine and recovery process immediately. We will get through this TOGETHER!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 2, 2020
Lesson one, Don. It isn’t just flu:
Read on...
So last year 37,000 Americans died from the common Flu. It averages between 27,000 and 70,000 per year. Nothing is shut down, life & the economy go on. At this moment there are 546 confirmed cases of CoronaVirus, with 22 deaths. Think about that!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 9, 2020
Lesson two: despite what you may have heard, coronavirus isn’t fake news:
I always treated the Chinese Virus very seriously, and have done a very good job from the beginning, including my very early decision to close the “borders” from China – against the wishes of almost all. Many lives were saved. The Fake News new narrative is disgraceful & false!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 18, 2020
Lesson three. Don’t be too quick to accuse rivals of crying wolf:
Cryin’ Chuck Schumer is complaining, for publicity purposes only, that I should be asking for more money than $2.5 Billion to prepare for Coronavirus. If I asked for more he would say it is too much. He didn’t like my early travel closings. I was right. He is incompetent!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 25, 2020
Lesson four: while you are in isolation at least contemplate the idea that criticism of your behaviour wasn’t a “far left” conspiracy theory:’
“Anti-Trump Network @CNN doing whatever it can to stoke a national Coronavirus panic. The far left Network pretty much ignoring anyone who they interview who doesn’t blame President Trump.” @trish_regan @FoxNews Media refuses to discuss the great job our professionals are doing!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 28, 2020
Finally, while you might get a kick out of being racist and telling your followers coronavirus is a “Chinese Virus”, believe us when we say this, the virus doesn’t respect borders:
CHINESE VIRUS FACT CHECK pic.twitter.com/qJugCylvE2
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 22, 2020
Get well soon… honest
Meanwhile, Twitter was full of concern for the US President:
Trump: “The coronavirus. This is their new hoax.”
Coronavirus: pic.twitter.com/5SFAuBhlkl
— Joel D. Anderson (@byjoelanderson) October 2, 2020
US comedian Mark Humphries sent his best wishes:
Wishing the President a speedy recovfefe
— Mark Humphries (@markhumphries) October 2, 2020
While another concerned ‘fan’ pointed out that Fox News viewers were going to struggle with the news. Thoughts with all of them today:
Love hearing Fox News now having to explain to viewers Covid is real, very dangerous, and what the symptoms are to watch out for
— Amy Remeikis (@AmyRemeikis) October 2, 2020
We wish Donald and Melania a speedy recovery from their illness. Honest. What? We do.
Image via Wikimedia
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I’d save my wishes for those with common sense. You have to draw the line somewhere in our immense cosmos about wishes or your just living in a fantasy.
Many will just watch what will happen with the subdued excitement of having a change. During The Presidnetial Election too. What timing this cosmos has.
The guy is seriously ill, and I’m not referring to his corona convenience con. We’re talking about a stunted man-child who clearly fits the diagnostic criteria for psychopathy and narcissism. Either disorder renders him incapable of accepting defeat, and he’s got both. Won’t accept the result if he loses (fake news, obviously) and won’t vacate the White House either. Legal teams setting up post election maneuvers to circumvent the results of the vote count. Vandalized postal service, excessive mailbox removal during a pandemic etc. etc. etc. Not even remotely insane.