Wicked: pitch-black satire about life under an increasingly authoritarian Labour government

I went to see Wicked yesterday. Sure, it’s frothy entertainment, with great songs and performances.

It may also be read as a pitch-black satire about life under an increasingly authoritarian Labour Party government, with Keir Starmer as The Wizard Of Oz: the world’s biggest fake.

Something wicked this way comes

Wicked sees a humourless shadowy figure running Oz from behind a curtain, whereas Keir Starmer is a shadowy figure running the UK from behind Pat McFadden and Morgan McSweeney. Keir Starmer arrives in the troubled Socialist Republic of Oz.

‘Trust me’, he says ‘I’ve got these ten pledges. I can read the sacred book of Socialism’, he says. ‘He’s a Wizard’, the people cry!

The story of Wicked starts with three women.

Glinda, white, rich, popular, without a care or problem in the world.

Elphaba, green but you know, she’s meant to be Black. Conveniently cast in the film as a powerful Black woman, (think a young Diane Abbott) and her sister Nessarose.

Nessarose has been born disabled and Elphaba is conveniently blamed for that as well because her mum died in childbirth after having her.

In the story, Elphaba grows up. She’s been told she’s worthless by her white father. Elphaba’s green (you know she’s Black, right?). She has to look after her disabled sister, Nessarose. Every time someone attacks Nessarose, Elphaba sticks up for her but she gets the blame even from Nessarose. Meanwhile, the popular white Glinda (think of Yvette Cooper) glides through life without a problem in the world.

Enter Jeremy Corbyn… kind of…

Elphaba has been written off by Oz society in Wicked. She’s good for nothing. Her sister Nessarose goes off to university. Because Elphaba is deemed worthless, she is forced to provide care for her sister at university. Elphaba has been taught by society to believe that everything is her fault, so she agrees.

Unfortunately for bland boring white middle-class Glinda, Elphaba is authentic, real, and has raw power. She’s a trailblazer. She can work magic, whilst Glinda can only work three-inch heels. Glinda is determined to put Elphaba in her place, so she briefs the entire university against her.

A handsome Prince Fiyero joins the school. Think of a young Jeremy Corbyn. Although he’s initially attracted to Glinda, Elphaba introduces him to socialism, and he’s hooked.

Most of the teachers at the university are human, but they didn’t use to be. The last remaining talking animal teacher is a goat who teaches the history of Oz. Dr Dillamont is the only teacher in the school telling the truth. He’s treated like an illegal immigrant or a Jew in Nazi Germany, and is constantly abused by the pupils. His only friend is Elphaba.

Before too long, Dr Dillamont is rounded up and taken away. All the animals have their civil liberties and voices removed under the Public Order Act. Oz history is to be rewritten. Oz is no longer a Socialist Republic. It is, and always has been a Neoliberal Oligarchy. Dr Dillamont is a scapegoat (see what I did there?).

The university announces that all Illegal immigrants, sorry, animals, will henceforth be kept in cages. You can see how easy it is to mix these things up, can’t you?

Here’s Starmer

It’s finally time to meet the Wizard in Wicked. He needs Elphaba’s help with his Mission of National Renewal. He tells Elphaba she will be at the centre of his plans. He calls it: The Oz Of Tomorrow. The Wizard (Starmer) cons Elphaba into using her ability to read the Book of Socialism and she turn his cabinet into flying neoliberal monkeys.

Elphaba is horrified. She thought Keir Starmer was a socialist because of his ten pledges! Elphaba discovers that it’s the Wizard who is behind the silencing of the animals/illegal immigrants/disabled/trans people. Madame Morrible/Peter Mandelson knew all along.

The Wizard’s answer is simple. He can’t fix the real problems of Oz because he has no magic. He says: ‘the best way to bring people together Is to give them a real good enemy’. Elphaba leaves in disgust. She takes the Book of Socialism with her, and is immediately branded an enemy of the state.

Keir Starmer/the Wizard plans to use the flying monkeys to keep the immigrants, sorry, the animals (oh, that sounds really bad doesn’t it) quiet, and in line.

But now, he has an even bigger and better enemy: Elphaba. As long as she has the Book Of Socialism, the Wizard will never be safe. Keir Starmer hopes to use far-right rhetoric to distract people so they never find out that he’s a fraud. Elphaba is damned and condemned throughout Oz.

Wicked Part Two?

I can neither confirm or deny if there’s a scene where Elphaba is cruelly abused for drinking a gin and tonic on a train.

Tune in next year for Wicked Part Two where Fiyero/Jeremy Corbyn ends up with Elphaba.

Featured image via the Canary