A week in which I was off sick with the flu! A week in which I didn’t really keep up with the news! And a week which ended with me having to write a pithy, three-sentence round-up of the current events I basically just haven’t followed!
But what else happened?
Let’s look back and see:
Nuclear submarine found in charity shop ‘could slash Trident costs’
Following the discovery in a Welsh charity shop of plans for a nuclear submarine, an actual complete working vessel has turned up at another similar store. Staff arrived to open up and discovered the 280ft sub on the pavement outside. Along with a bin bag full of clothes, and cardboard boxes containing 14 years of The Radio Times. Manager Glenda Sherry said:
We expect it was a well-meaning member of the public, or possibly the First Sea Lord. It’s probably one of the strangest things we’ve ever had donated.
A storm of protest has erupted following the revelation that Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn received payment for a speech to a north London branch of the Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament (CND). Although Corbyn hasn’t broken any rules, critics say this goes against the frugal, monkish persona he likes to cultivate. They’ve accused him of “a breach of trust” and say that such behaviour will only reinforce the public belief that politicians “are all on the gravy train”.
One former cabinet minister, who spoke to Off The Perch on condition of anonymity, said:
Corbyn’s got a racket going on here. He’s blatantly using his public role, and the marketability that it gives him, to feather his own nest. He stands up in the Commons, spouts a bunch of stuff about scrapping Trident, and then cleans up on the CND circuit. It’s preposterous. He should concentrate on leading the Opposition.
He ought to follow the example of others. Take our worthy former Chancellor for example. Mr Osborne regularly finds time to sit on the back benches, despite his external duties. In many ways, he’s doing at least as much for the economy now as when he was in Number 11.
Concerns have been raised that the annual Latitude festival could become a stronghold and a recruiting ground for a disturbing new political movement.
The term ‘Alt-Centre’ has been coined to describe a group of predominantly young-ish, quite trendy, social media savvy people whose politics are “militantly middle-of-the-road”.
“I think being inoffensive is the new rock ‘n’ roll”, says Zeke Emmanuel. Off The Perch caught up with him in a north London charity shop, where he was looking for James Taylor LPs.
I’ve always gone straight down the middle. Y’know, in quite a hardcore way. I always vote LibDem, so I can still be friends with the whole family at Christmas. Although strangely, from 2010 to 2014, everyone seemed to have a go at me. I love the way Latitude doesn’t have a single act that could ever annoy anyone. It’s really chilled out. I’ve got my glamping yurt booked and I’m looking forward to seeing Mumford & Sons and Fleet Foxes. Although Fleet Foxes are a bit edgy with their off-grid vibe.
When Nigel Farage was spotted coming out of the Ecuadorian Embassy in London, most people assumed he’d been plotting world domination with Julian Assange.
But it’s now been revealed that something far more sinister, weird, and drivingly melodic was happening.
The two men were forming a cover band.
We spoke to a cleaner who walked in on the duo:
I was cleaning the hallway outside Mr Assange’s room when I heard the unmistakable riff from The Final Countdown. A riff which was quickly followed by the unmistakable sound of two men who can’t sing trying to harmonise.
I walked into Mr Assange’s room and saw that the two men had removed their shirts and tied their ties round their heads. Farage was smoking a cigarette with his eyes closed while roughly manhandling what appeared to be a child-size bass guitar. On his sweaty beer belly I noticed he had ‘Europe’ tattooed above a panther that was coloured like the Swedish flag.
We know everyone is suffering under the Tories - but the Canary is a vital weapon in our fight back, and we need your support
The Canary Workers’ Co-op knows life is hard. The Tories are waging a class war against us we’re all having to fight. But like trade unions and community organising, truly independent working-class media is a vital weapon in our armoury.
The Canary doesn’t have the budget of the corporate media. In fact, our income is over 1,000 times less than the Guardian’s. What we do have is a radical agenda that disrupts power and amplifies marginalised communities. But we can only do this with our readers’ support.
So please, help us continue to spread messages of resistance and hope. Even the smallest donation would mean the world to us.