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DUP deal the ‘most stable’ option, says David ‘Stability McStrongface’ Cameron

John Shafthauer by John Shafthauer
16 August 2017
in UK
Reading Time: 2 mins read
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Theresa May is famous for pioneering the dual virtues of strength and stability. But she wasn’t the inventor of these sacred British ideals. Because that distinction goes to her predecessor, David ‘Stability McStrongface’ Cameron:

Britain faces a simple and inescapable choice – stability and strong Government with me, or chaos with Ed Miliband: https://t.co/fmhcfTunbm

— David Cameron (@David_Cameron) May 4, 2015

And now, the strong one has returned with a message for all those who doubt the DUP deal’s ability to provide the SS (strength & stability) we need:

Task facing PM, given the circs, is to deliver the most stable govt possible – today's DUP deal helps achieve that. All Cons should support.

— David Cameron (@David_Cameron) June 26, 2017

A legacy of SS

Cameron practically drips with SS – like a spit-roasted hog basting in its own juices.

In his years of perpetrating SS, Cameron managed to create very much from very little – like a gammon-faced Jesus feeding 5,000 people with nought but a ham sandwich and a packet of pork scratchings.

His achievements included:

  • The EU Referendum (albeit without any sort of plan for what would happen afterwards).
  • Continuous NHS cost savings (with no negative service impact to those who could afford to go private).
  • Making the deficit an important issue (without ever actually solving what they claimed the problem was).
  • Super improvements to employment (as long as you weren’t arsed about job security / decent pay / pride).
  • Continuous and powerful opportunities for necro-porcine humour.

What’s the pig idea?

Bearing in mind his record, David Cameron has earned the right to speak. And he has definitely earned the right to give his opinion.

It’s just that he’s also earned the right to have rotten vegetables thrown at him whenever he does.

Get Involved!

– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.

Featured image via Flickr

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