Vince Cable, who is estimated to have lost us £1bn privatising Royal Mail, is now the leader of the Liberal Democrats.
Which is fantastic news!
You know – if you support a different party.
The Liberal Democrats radical new approach will see them:
- Making more promises (some of which they may even keep).
- Maintaining all that neoliberalism stuff that’s been working out so well for us recently.
- Fighting Brexit with everything they’ve got (unless the offer to form another coalition comes up).
Strong and Cable
Speaking to his loyal followers, Cable repeated the words of his party:
As he said:
There is a gaping hole in this country! For the sort of voters that can’t bring themselves to vote Tory, but do think it’s mature to vote for a party that prioritises businesses over people!
For the sort of people who like to pretend they give a shit about the poor, but are happy for austerity to continue anyway because it won’t affect them!
And for the sort of people who will fight Brexit to their dying breath, but can’t understand why these plebs are so angry all the time! Austerity isn’t that bad guys – take a chill pill. LOL. It’s not like Brexit which will actually affect proper people.
Cable then high-fived some vulture capitalists and left the building.
– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.
Featured image via Flickr