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Piers Morgan conducted the Trump interview entirely from within the President’s arsehole

John Shafthauer by John Shafthauer
26 January 2018
in UK
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There’s a long history of British interviewers getting the most out of American presidents. The most notable examples being: David Frost, who drew an apology from Richard Nixon; and Simon Amstell, who made George W. Bush storm off the set of Never Mind the Buzzcocks.

The most recent addition to this pantheon of greats is Piers Morgan. Because he too has shown a bit of that British ingenuity. Namely by becoming the first person to conduct an interview entirely from within the arsehole of the interviewee.

Sycophancy

When asked if it was difficult to squeeze up there, Morgan said:

Not really. I’ve had several years of practice.

From this unique vantage point, Morgan was able to ask some hard-hitting questions. They included:

  • I like you. Do you like me?
  • What did you think of the new Jumanji?
  • People say we’re unpopular, but look at how many Twitter followers we have. That means we’re popular, right? Right!?
  • Have you nuked anywhere nice recently?
  • You’ve had several allegations of sexual assault made against you. Bitches be crazy, am I right?
  • I’ve had this rash for over a week; do you think I should get it checked out?
  • Who was your favourite Spice Girl?
  • Would you like to talk uninterrupted about how well your presidency is going?
  • Oh my god, tell me how it went with Vladimir Putin!
  • Golf this weekend?

Questions

Trump has also been interviewed by Michael Gove. But his toughest interview will likely be during his planned visit to the UK, when millions of marching Brits will ask him:

Why don’t you just fuck off?

Get Involved!

– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.

Featured image via Flickr – Evan Guest (image was altered)

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