The government somehow makes the lords even more undemocratic

The House of Lords is so undemocratic it makes Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong un look like…

…umm…

…it’s actually hard to think of a properly democratic democracy.

The point is that the Lords are undemocratic, anyway. And yet the government has somehow made them even less democratic – namely by introducing a raft of new peers.

Wall to wall shit 

The government has had trouble because many of the lords aren’t going along with Brexit. It turns out that giving someone the power to do whatever they want and telling them they’re a lord can actually lead to people doing whatever they want and lording it up.

As such, the House has been stuffed with some Lords who are sure to support Brexit. These lords will be great now, but they could cause problems in future:

• LORD MORRISSEY: PROS – definitely wants Brexit. CONS – wants meat-eaters to be treated like war criminals.
• LORD KATIE HOPKINS: PROS – literally foaming at the mouth for Brexit. CONS – is very possibly rabid, and could pose a health risk.
• LORD VADER: PROS ­– usually does what he’s told. CONS – might turn on Theresa May at a crucial moment and throw her down a shaft.
• LORD HINDLEY: PROS – seems like the sort of person who’d be pro-Brexit. CONS – she’s dead. Although her odour may at least mask the stench of corruption.
• LORD PREDATOR: PROS – would like to destroy the EU. CONS – would like to destroy humanity.
• LORD FARAGE: PROS – has previously expressed a fondness for Brexit. CONS – many.

Where does it end?

If these Lords do end up becoming a pain, there is at least an obvious solution: more fucking Lords. You know – just really cramming them in there until they’re spilling out of the windows like raw, overflowing sewage.

Isn’t taking back control of our democracy wonderful?

Get Involved!

– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.

– Join The Canary, so we can keep holding the powerful to account.

Featured image via Charlie Llewellin – Wikimedia (image was altered) / pxhere / Queensland State Archives – Flickr (image was altered) / Jorge Royan – Wikimedia (image was altered)